The Amourette
by silverXserpent
Summary: Sequel to 'The Amour'. Post Hogwarts. It's been eight long years since Draco sent Harry that letter.... and now Harry is working as an Undercover Auror who's job it is to find Draco and turn him over to the Ministry. Lots of hot tension.
1. The Prelude

**_The Amourette_  
  
Author: **silverXserpent  
  
**Rating: **R  
  
**Summary: **Sequel to _The Amour._ Eight long years after the collapse of Hogwarts and the Great War, Harry is an undercover Auror. Draco Malfoy has been missing all these years, and Harry has learned to forget the once heated romance that used to be. But what happens when Malfoy appears on his doorstep seeking help, not knowing that Harry is supposed to find Draco and turn him over to the Ministry?**  
  
Warning: **Harry x Draco slash. And lots of sexual tension. I also tend to be haunted by the cliffy monster so you'll see lots of those too. And I'd highly suggest reading the prequel _The Amour_ before diving into this one because then you'll know the deepness of their used-to-be relationship and some references I might be making to their past. Also, DEATHS. Other then that, ENJOY.

**DISCLAIMER:** All characters belong to JK. Rowling. No money is being made from this story in any way.  
  


_

* * *

When all is lost to darkness  
Let the blood red curtains fall  
There is no encore  
The finale is here  
It's over_  
_It's gone  
_

**  
  
[Chapter One] **_The Prelude  
  
Screams.  
  
Blood curdling screams everywhere.  
  
Blinding flashes of light.  
  
And then more screams.  
  
The sounds were all mingled together. It came from all around him. And everything was just a blur.  
  
It was the wasteland of hell.  
  
Scorching fires burnt the once grassy slopes, now a colorless façade of ash and smoke.  
  
Bloodied bodies littered the charcoaled earth with expressions of fear and surprise etched onto their forevermore unchanging faces.  
  
Harry stood upon this same soil, wondering how many of these lifeless bodies were his friends. Schoolmates that he'd spent the last six years of his life with.  
  
He didn't realize that he'd been standing there like a stump until a terrified voice reached his ears from somewhere close.  
  
He lifted his head to see Ginny Weasley running toward him with her  
wand out, pointing to something he couldn't see.  
  
"HARRY!" she screamed. "Harry! Behind you! Behind you! He's right behin-"  
  
A flash of green light, a whoosh of air, and the girl's body froze. Then slowly, it fell to the ground like a rag doll. Her wand clattered beside her and all was still.  
  
"NOOOOOO!!!!!!" Harry bellowed as he ran over to where she lay and picked her up in his arms. He turned her over to see the same wide-eyed look on her face that possessed all the others.  
  
This couldn't be true. She couldn't be dead.  
  
But she was.  
  
He lay her body gently back to the earth and stood up, his body trembling and eyes raging with unquenchable hate. No, it was beyond hate. He wanted to kill. He wanted to kill them all.  
  
He whirled around to see a towering figure cloaked in tattered black robes and a hooded face, pointing out his wand at Harry's heart. But Harry was quicker.  
  
"AVADA KEDAVRA!"  
  
The Death Eater became a lifeless lump at his feet.  
  
His chest heaved and shuddered. He'd done it. He'd managed to kill.  
  
And he knew he wasn't going to stop there.  
  
Suddenly from somewhere to his left, another familiar voice was shouting.  
  
"Severus, No! Get back!"  
  
Harry turned his head.  
  
Remus Lupin was trying to shove Severus Snape away as another Death Eater approached them rapidly. The Death Eater raised his wand and pointed it at Remus, and Severus lunged out at him, knocking him out of the way of a green beam of light.  
  
Severus caught it full in the chest.  
  
"SEVERU-"  
  
Remus' body jerked and fell heavily through the air as a second curse hit him too.  
  
"Remus!" Harry yelled, his voice cracking and becoming lost amongst the fresh screams around him. The Death Eater looked up at him and beneath the shadowy hood, Harry could see a curling lip.  
  
Before the Death Eater could take one step toward him, Harry again, heard the deadly curse bursting from his lungs and the figure keeled over dead.  
  
His mind was no longer reasonable anymore. He didn't care that he was killing people. He didn't care that he was uttering Voldemort's trademark curse. It didn't matter, he could be dead tomorrow because he knew. He knew how this was supposed to end.  
The Prophecy was just as clear to him as the day Dumbledore had told him of it a year ago. The words that no one but he and two others ever heard._

Either must die at the hand of the other  
For neither can live while the other survives.

There was only one thing left for him to do. And that was to fulfill the Prophecy once and for all.  
  
Today, the future of the world would be decided, and the power to change it for the good or for the worse was completely in Harry's hands. He wouldn't surrender. He would not let himself die until he had defeated Lord Voldemort. Even if it meant that he would die as well...  
  
There was no time to lose. The other's were in danger. It was now or never.  
  
The sun had set long ago and the darkness was nearly complete around him. Only the vivid curses and spells could be seen, shooting like stars over his head. One wrong move, and he'd be dead.  
  
"Lumos" he whispered and the tip of his wand emitted a ball of light. For a second, he didn't know what his eyes were looking at. A second later, he realized that his light was hovering over the hem of a trailing black robe. He slowly lifted his arm and little by little the figure's body became visible. His light finally slid up to the face and his wand slipped a few inches from his sweaty grip.  
  
"Harry Potter. How fortunate to be able to come face to face with you again." a hollow voice hissed.  
  
"Same goes with me, Voldemort." Harry replied, regaining himself. He tried desperately to keep the fear out of his voice. "Funny, because I was just about to go and look for you."  
  
A high pitched cackle echoed harshly through the air between them.  
  
"I suppose you think that you're going to finish me off?"  
  
"You have no idea what I'm thinking."  
  
"Oh yes, I do Harry. You don't seem to remember... I have a certain special 'connection' with you... and it's all thanks to your muggle mother."  
  
Harry smirked grimly. "Yes, and it's also thanks to her that I have the power to kill you."  
  
"I suppose so, but you seem to have forgotten one thing.... I, am Lord Voldemort."  
  
"And I, am Harry Potter. It bloody makes no difference, Tom Riddle."  
  
"I admire your bravery, for you are a Gryffindor inside and out. But playing with fire is never a good choice, Harry." Voldemort's lips twisted cruelly. "Perhaps I should teach you a thing or two about the consequences?"  
  
Harry gripped his wand tighter and the muscles in his face clenched. "Not until we're through with this duel."  
  
Voldemort laughed and lifted his wand between his long and gaunt fingers.  
  
"Then enjoy it Harry, for this will be the last one you ever have."  
  
Harry jabbed his wand at the emaciated body before him.  
  
"EXPELLIARM-"  
  
"CRUCIO!"  
  
Harry dived out of the way, the spell missing him by a breath of air. He looked up to see Voldemort opening his mouth again.  
  
"CRUCIO!"  
  
"PROTEGO!"  
  
The jet of red light that shot out of Voldemort's wand dissolved into the thin barrier Harry had created. But as soon as the curse had hit it, the shield was destroyed.  
  
Voldemort raised his wand a third time and when he cast the same curse again, it's aim was true.  
  
Harry felt a thousand knives slashing into his skin and his head felt as though it would smash to pieces. Screaming, he fell to his knees.  
  
"Such a beautiful sight...." Voldemort said, his voice full of mock pity. "I would gladly watch you die like this, Harry."  
  
Harry's mind was buzzing loudly and he collapsed to the ground.  
  
NO.  
  
Through all the pain, he blindly fought to control his arm.  
**  
You will die.  
_  
_**_NO!  
_**  
It is too late...  
_  
_**_No it isn't!  
**  
**_**Voldemort will kill you-_  
_**_  
"AAARGGHHH!"  
  
Harry's voice roared deafeningly as the curse was broken and Voldemort stumbled backwards. His red eyes were blazing with black fire.  
  
Harry's glasses had shattered from the impact of his face hitting the gravel. Blood was trickling into his eyes and his consciousness was slowly ebbing away.  
  
He couldn't die now. He had to kill....  
  
Voldemort was advancing on him, a look of victory on his face.  
  
"It looks like I have won this duel, doesn't it?" the gleeful voice hissed. He was now standing right above him. "Good bye Harry Pott-"  
  
"IMPEDIMENTA!"  
  
Out of nowhere came a flash of light, and Voldemort's body jerked violently and then froze.  
  
Draco was standing behind Voldemort, his robes torn and his face covered in nasty cuts and bruises. His arm was immobile, raised and still pointing at Voldemort's back. He stared at Harry with hard, piercing eyes.  
  
Harry tore his gaze away from the intense silver orbs and lifted his aching arm.  
  
Finally, this was it. After all these years...  
  
Summoning up his last drops of strength, he snatched his wand with the tips of his fingers and pointed it at the ghastly and white skeletal figure in front of him.  
  
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" he cried out.  
  
And then everything went black.

* * *

_And that was the last time he saw Draco Malfoy.  
  
Even when all the survivors had been recovered after the War, Draco did not turn up.  
  
So many innocent people had been killed that day. More than one-hundred bodies had been found among the remnants of the Hogwarts castle and grounds.  
  
The castle itself had been nearly complete in it's collapse. The towers were gone and the seven floors mere rubble and stone. The only part of the castle that had remained safe was the Great Hall where most of the fortunate students had taken refuge before the third attack had been set.  
  
At first, Harry would not believe that Draco was missing. He was to the point of pure insanity when the list of surviving students had been made. He checked the long roll of parchment twenty times, each time thinking that he'd accidentally skipped over his boyfriend's name in a hurry to find it.  
  
But no matter how many times his eyes went over the list, it did not change a thing.  
  
Draco was not alive.  
  
Uncontrollable tears were cascading down his blood crusted face as he lay in his bed at St. Mungo's the morning after the War.  
  
It did not seem possible. It did not seem probable.  
  
But what other explanation could there be?  
  
At that moment, there was a soft knock on his door and he quickly tried to dry his eyes.  
  
A mediwitch opened the door and stepped in smiling gently, but Harry kept his gaze on his hands.  
  
"There is someone here to see you Mr. Potter."  
  
Harry's head immediately snapped up. His heart began racing a mile a minute. _Could it be....  
  
_"Hello Harry."  
  
Albus Dumbledore came into the room wearing an old and tired expression on his face. All the usual sparkle in his periwinkle blue eyes behind his halfmoon spectacles were absent. It looked as if he had aged fifty years over the night.  
  
Harry couldn't hide his sinking heart at the sight of the Headmaster. His hands balled up into fists with anger.  
  
Dumbledore walked over to his bed and wordlessly settled himself in a chair next to Harry. The gray haired wizard nodded to the mediwitch and she shut the door quietly behind her.  
  
For a moment, neither said anything. Harry closed his eyes and rolled over to face the wall. He was not in the mood to speak with anyone.  
  
"Harry." Dumbledore finally spoke, his voice low and weary. "I'd like only a minute of your time."  
  
Harry remained silent.  
  
"I will not ask that you speak, yet it is important that you listen to what I have to say next." Dumbledore said urgently. "As soon as you have recovered, you must start training as an Auror immediately."  
  
Harry's head jerked up in surprise.  
  
"It has been discovered that the remaining Death Eaters have all disappeared after Lord Voldemort was killed. A spy for our side has informed us that the Death Eaters had plans to take over once their Lord was killed. They are hungry for the power that the Dark Lord never gave them, Harry."  
  
Harry sat up and looked out the window.  
  
"What does this have to do with me?" he asked curtly. "I killed Voldemort, I did my duty, I saved the world, I'm done."  
  
"You are in danger Harry. And for all the above reasons. They will look for you. They will try to find you and most likely kill you. For this reason, you must be ready. You must train to be an Auror so that you know what to do when this happens. You might even be able to prevent it if you obtain these skills."  
  
Harry turned his head toward Dumbledore and stared at him, a confusion of thoughts and emotions winding through his mind.  
  
"Do you understand Harry?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
Harry closed his eyes and nodded.  
  
The scraping of a chair told him that the Headmaster was getting up to leave.  
  
"Oh and I believe I have something here for you." There was a faint scuffle of cloth and then a soft plop. "I must be going now,but if there's anything you need, tell one of the kind mediwitches and they will contact me."  
  
When Harry opened his eyes, Dumbledore was gone already. He sighed and looked over to his bedside table to find a thin cream colored envelope sitting atop the smooth surface.  
  
He reached out uncertainly and picked it up.  
  
On the front, a flowing script spelled out the name; _Harry Potter._  
  
His breath caught in his throat when he recognized the elegant and slightly feminine script.  
_But.... but...._ a voice was protesting inside Harry's head. _Draco is.....  
  
_With a racing heart and trembling fingers, he tore open the envelope violently.  
  
It was a very short letter. The date at the top right-hand corner told him that it had been written today..... So that meant that Draco was still alive....  
  
Taking a deep breath, he began to read...  
  
_Dear Harry,  
  
I'm sorry that I didn't deliver this letter to you myself. But I couldn't anyway even if I wanted to. There's so many things that I want to say to you but it would just make things harder and so I won't.  
  
This will probably be the last letter I ever write to you. I can't see you anymore either. I can't give any reasons and I know I'm hurting you but this is the only thing that can be done. What we had needs to end.  
  
Please just forget about me and move on Harry. Don't try to find me and don't try to send your owl to me.  
  
Maybe someday we might run into each other.  
  
-Draco Malfoy  
  
_The paper fluttered onto his lap from his slack fingers and he stared blankly at it, not understanding what had just hit him.  
  
_Is this some sort of joke?_ he thought incredulously as he picked up the letter again slowly.  
  
He reread it once more, trying to find some hint of humor, but he found none. And it was unmistakably Draco's handwriting.  
  
He shook his head and turned the paper over, yet again, there was nothing.  
  
This couldn't be for real. This couldn't be possible. It had to be a load of bullshit.  
  
Draco was just trying to scare Harry. He would come bursting into the room any minute now, with a huge smirk on his, telling him it was just a cruel prank. That he did it just to see the vulnerable Harry that he loved so much.  
  
He stared expectantly at the closed door, but nothing happened.  
  
Then the reality of it all began to sink in. His breathing became painful and his fingers dug into the parchment, and it crumpled under his grip.  
  
Draco wanted to break up with Harry.  
  
Draco didn't want him anymore.  
  
Anger started to surge up inside of him. This couldn't be happening right now. Not when what he needed most was to have Draco by his side. He needed Draco to hug him. To kiss him and to let him cry into his arms.  
  
Draco was everything to him and more. Without Draco, he didn't see the point of having survived the War. Draco had been the one that had kept him hoping, the one that kept him confident even while knowing that in the end, so many lives of people that he cared for, would be lost. Because when it was all over, he'd still have Draco.  
  
Furious tears began to cloud his vision and with a sudden choked cry, he grabbed the ceramic vase that stood on his bedside table and threw it against the wall on the other side of the room.  
  
It shattered into a million pieces.  
  
Just like his heart.  
  
His fingers ripped at the letter and shredded it until it was no longer legible.  
  
He tried to swallow back his tears but a sob escaped his throat and he fisted his pillow and buried his face into it.  
  
"Why Draco?" he cried out. "Why are you doing this to me?"  
  
Had he done something to make Draco hate him? If so, what had he done?  
  
Images of their last time together floated into his mind.  
  
No, they'd been happy together.... everything had been fine between them....  
  
_Until Draco left you..._ a voice said quietly.  
  
_He got mad and left...._ Harry remembered and suddenly, the pieces clicked together inside his head.  
  
Draco getting defensive when Harry had mentioned Lucius yesterday... Draco disappearing suddenly right after the War.... Dumbledore's warnings.... the letter.....  
  
"Oh my god." he breathed, suddenly feeling sick. "It can't be..."  
  
But it was the only possibility that would tie all the questions inside his head. He didn't want to believe it but it made everything make sense.  
  
Draco never meant to stay with Harry.  
  
His aim was dark power from the beginning. Just like all the other Death Eaters. He was going to join his father and become one of them.  
  
The past had simply been all a lie. A lie and nothing more.  
  
A lie to get Harry to trust him. A lie to use Harry to defeat the Dark Lord.  
  
Harry clamped his eyes shut. He felt as if he would pass out any second.  
  
"Oh my god." he said again, tears streaming down his eyes. "I was so dumb... How could I have not seen this?"  
  
But even with this realization, he knew that he could never stop loving Draco.  
  
And he never would.  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
**So, first chapter of the sequel done. How did you like it? I know it's a bit confusing right now but it's meant to be that way. It's all for the excitement of waiting to find out. hehe. Prepare yourself for a time jump next chapter! WOOHOO. Please review=)**


	2. Another Life

**Title: **The Amourette_ -sequel to The Amour'-  
  
_**Author: **silverXserpent_  
  
_**Rating: **R  
**  
DISCLAIMER: **All characters belong to JK. Rowling. No money is being made from this story in any way.  
  
**Thank You To:  
  
LadyAna  
**You rock even more! Thanks for the awesome review:) Be ready for Draco next chapter..... HAR HAR HAR  
  
**Angel Lain  
**I love it when people are touched by what I write! I love you! (cries hysterically).  
Hope you liked this chapter although it's not much of a teary chap.  
  
**Pila1414  
**I hope this update is quick enough! hehe. I love you for continuing to read the sequel too. Thanks!  
  
**zowie-bowie  
**I know! I'm not a french speaking person but I thought that the word _amourette_ was perfect for the sequel. Thanks for the review! And thanks for reading the sequel! hugs and kisses!  
  
**S.Malfoy  
**I'm really really really glad you liked the first chap of this story and the prequel. Thanks for the review! I hope you like this chap too!  
  
**Kyle-Brofloski3  
**I know, IDIOT DRACO! GODAMMIT! lol. He's coming back the next chapter! (dun dun dun)  
  
**Kylia Nahimana  
**I'm glad you didn't find the chap confusing. I couldn't explaing too much there cuz it would suck out the fun in the coming chaps. You're reviews are always da best, man. Love ya.  
(Waves pitchfork at Draco) yes, he's being evil evil....  
Now, I'm gonna go read your new chap for you story! Can't wait!  
xoxo

* * *

_First you feel the pain  
Then you start to cry  
When someone breaks your heart  
Love cuts you deep inside  
  
_

**[Chapter Two] **Another Life  
  
Two men were walking up Faraday Road, hand in hand.  
  
It was a crisp yet beautiful February day, perfect for a one-on-one brunch with a close friend.  
  
And that was exactly what these two men had just been doing.  
  
True, they rather looked like more then close friends' but certain understandings kept these men at that and nothing more.  
  
They looked very comfortable together and it warmed anybody's heart just to see them lean in for a sweet kiss here and there.  
  
They were now standing in front of the door of a white apartment, the raven haired man rummaging around in his trouser pockets for the key.  
  
Do you want to come in? he asked the slightly taller brunette, who grinned widely and nodded.  
  
the brunette replied, placing a soft kiss on the other's nose. Must you ask Harry?  
  
I suppose not but I'm just warning you, if you come in, you're going to have to help me rearrange my room today. I've been wanting to do that for a while.  
  
I'll be happy to.  
  
Their feet stomped loudly as they climbed the wooden stairs up to the third and topmost floor of the apartment.  
  
The man, who's name was Alex, shook his head involuntarily when they entered the spacious flat that belonged to Harry.  
  
I always can't help wondering how the bloody hell you manage to pay the rent for this. I mean, yeah I know you work for the government and all but... Alex paused and frowned. What exactly _do_ you do for the government?  
  
Harry smiled good-naturedly and shrugged.  
  
Couldn't tell you that, now could I? Or else I would be violating the Undercover' rule.  
  
You're such a wanker, Harry. Alex rolled his eyes in mock exasperation and wrapped his arms around Harry's waist.  
  
What's wrong with being a wanker? Harry asked innocently.  
  
Alex kissed Harry's lips and chuckled. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.  
  
They took off their heavy winter coats and threw them onto the dining table before sinking down onto the sofa, still attached hungrily at the mouth.  
  
Alex murmured. You taste like tomatoes.  
  
Harry laughed. And you taste like _Chateau de Beaucastel._  
  
Seriously, I can't believe you spent two-hundred and twenty pounds on wine.  
  
Harry raised his eyebrows and bit down onto Alex's lip.  
  
What, didn't you like it?  
  
Oh fuck.... the brunette moaned. You're insane Harry.... you know that?  
  
Insane as they come. Now come on, you promised to help me with my room. He pulled away and ran his fingers teasingly down Alex's slim thigh.  
  
All right, all right! Please! Let's get started before I end up ruining my new jeans! Alex hopped off the sofa and brushed himself off. He grabbed Harry's arm and began dragging him through the living room and into a bedroom that was nearly as big as the living room, with white walls and a king size teak four poster covered in silk sheets. There was also a matching teak wardrobe and dresser on the other side of the room near the floor-to-ceiling window.  
  
Harry put his hands on his hips and walked over to the closet.  
  
he threw open the double doors of the closet and waved his hand at the mound of stuff piled inside. First, I want to throw a bunch of this out. I have no idea what half of them are anyways.  
  
Alex rolled his eyes and peered into the large closet.  
  
Looks like you just cram everything you don't need, in here.  
  
Good observation. Harry grinned. So will you give me a hand?  
  
Grnumnf. _Fine._  
  
Thanks Alex. All right, so um- I'm going to go get a dustbin bag- be right back.  
  
A few minutes later, he was back in his bedroom with a large plastic bag and two bottles of Yorkshire Terrier.  
  
You want? Harry asked, holding out the drink to the other man who was currently busy going through Harry's CD collection atop the dresser.  
  
Huh? Oh sure, thanks. Alex turned around and took the bottle.  
  
They popped open the caps and clanked the necks of the bottles together.  
  
To er- Harry began.  
  
To our friendship. Alex finished for him.  
  
Yeah. To our friendship.  
  
They took a long swig before settling themselves cross legged on the floor in front of the pile of work ahead of them.  
  
Harry reached out and began plucking random objects from within and looking them over once before shaking his head and tossing them into the bag.  
  
Don't need that. Don't need this. Definitely don't want this. Didn't even know I had this-  
  
What about this? Alex asked, lifting a dark green and extremely clingy looking cotton shirt with french cuffs.  
  
Harry scrunched up his nose and grimaced. Nah, Chuck it out.  
  
Are you kidding me? Alex exclaimed. Do you know how bloody sexy you'd look in this?  
  
It's too small. Harry said simply.  
  
Small is good!  
  
I've never worn it before, and I don't plan to.  
  
Oh come on. Try it on. Let's see.  
  
Now? No!  
  
Alex snatched at the hem of Harry's sweater and struggled to pull it over his head. He finally managed and then, lips twitching, handed Harry the green shirt. OR you could stay like that.  
  
Harry glared at Alex and shoved his arms through the sleeves of the shirt.  
  
There. I'm wearing it. The buttons barely snap on my chest. Happy?  
  
You look fucking good but I still prefer you without it. Alex said.  
  
Well you're not getting that so tough. He replied curtly, trying to suppress a smile.  
  
You know what would be so hot?  
  
Harry frowned.   
  
If you did a strip show in that shirt. God that would be.... fuck I'm getting hard just thinking about it. Alex closed his eyes and licked his lips enticingly.  
  
Harry pinched Alex's arm, eliciting a painful yelp from him.  
  
You perve!  
  
Perve? Who me? Alex asked defiantly.  
  
Yes, you.  
  
More pinching ensued and then a few moments later, the pinching had turned into tender caresses.  
  
You're so damn unpredictable. Alex murmured into Harry's mouth. First second, you're trying to kill me and then you're necking all over me- OW! FUCK!  
  
His head shot up and he clamped his hand over his arse.  
  
What was _that_ for?  
  
Harry shrugged and took another drink of beer before returning his attention to his closet.  
  
Alex mumbled something under his breath and drained his whole bottle.  
  
Hey- what's that? he asked suddenly crawling over beside Harry and pointing to something shining behind the rack of clothes.  
  
  
  
Alex reached out both hands and slowly pulled out what happened to be a high-polished and scratch-less guitar. Wow. A Martin? he breathed, gaping at the instrument. You can play this?  
  
I taught myself a while back. Harry said offhandedly. But I haven't played for years.  
  
Alex repeated. You've got to play something.  
  
Harry shook his head. Don't feel like it.  
  
Oh come on! You've got to! For me? Please?  
  
Alex gave Harry a pathetic puppy dog face and held out the guitar.  
  
  
  
Can't think of anything right now.  
  
Alex snorted.   
  
He suddenly dove back into the closet and retrieved a black folder with papers sticking out of the top.  
  
Harry felt his hands clench involuntarily.  
  
_No..._ _no...._ He thought silently.  
  
I was right! There are songs here! Like, five of them!  
  
Alex began leafing through the songs with a intrigued expression on his face.  
  
All these are kinda sad.... he said finally, looking up at Harry. Did you write them?  
  
Harry nodded reluctantly.  
  
Play this one for me, please? Alex pleaded. He handed Harry two sheets of music with a small smile on his face.  
  
Harry swallowed the large lump that was forming in his throat.  
  
This shouldn't be difficult for him at all. It was just a song.  
  
Then why did it hurt him to think about it?  
  
He took the music from Alex with slightly shaking hands and picked up the long since forgotten guitar from the floor.  
  
Alex watched him intently as he took his time to tune the strings and then finally, he was set.  
  
He breathed deeply before closing his eyes and strumming the first cord.  
  
It echoed through the quiet room like an enchantment. The notes that held some sort of power.  
  
He opened his eyes and began to sing;  
  
_I could hardly believe it, when I heard the news today...  
They said you were leaving, someone's swept your heart away  
From the look upon your face, I see it's true.  
So tell me all about it, tell me 'bout the plans you're making  
Then tell me one thing more before I go...  
  
Tell me how am I supposed to live without you  
Now that I've been lovin' you so long  
How am I supposed to live without you  
How am I supposed to carry on  
When all that I've been living for is gone  
  
I didn't come here for cryin'  
Didn't come here to breakdown  
It's just a dream of mine is coming to an end  
An how can I blame you  
When I built my world around  
The hope that someday we'd be so much more than friends  
And I don't wanna know the price I'm gonna pay for dreaming  
When even now it's more than I can take...  
  
_The last strum died slowly and he opened his eyes.  
  
Oh Harry! That was brilliant! Alex said loudly, clapping his hands enthusiastically. I had no idea you had a voice like that.... and a talent for song writing!  
  
Harry cleared his throat and smiled weakly. He set down his guitar and stood up.  
  
I er- have to go to the loo for a sec.  
  
He hurried out of the room and into the bathroom across the hall.  
  
He walked over to the sink and leaned against it, burying his face in his hands.  
  
Why the fuck am I reacting like this over a fucking song? he moaned ruefully. What the hell is wrong with me? I wrote these songs eight years ago.  
  
There was a knock on the door. Harry? You okay luv?  
  
I'm fine, Alex. he turned on the tap and splashed his face with cold water. _Get a grip on yourself.  
  
_The bathroom door opened and Harry heard Alex come up behind him tentatively.  
  
Hey there. Alex said gently, putting his hands on Harry's hips.  
  
  
  
You sure you're okay?  
  
Harry turned around and forced a smile. Yeah, don't worry about it. I'm really fine.  
  
Was that song.... about someone from the past?  
  
Harry bit his lip. Uh, yeah. But it doesn't mean anything anymore.  
  
Alex nodded. Would you rather not talk about it?  
  
Harry said quietly.  
  
Okay. But you were still absolutely amazing. Maybe you can write me a song sometime. You know, a song saying how wonderful and irresistible Alex is...  
  
Harry couldn't help but laugh and he embraced Alex warmly.  
  
Thanks Alex.  
  
No prob. Well, I have to leave pretty soon for work... you'll be okay alone?  
  
I'm not a baby, I think I can look after myself. Harry replied, kissing Alex's lips tenderly. Just don't get hit on too much please?  
  
Aww, is wittle Harry getting a wittle possessive, hm? Alex teased.  
  
Shut up.  
  
Harry shoved Alex playfully out of the bathroom and toward the door.  
  
Will do. So I'll call you tomorrow or something. You're coming as usual on Friday night right?  
  
Yeah, I'm going. Here's your coat. Harry helped Alex into his coat and pecked him again on the cheek. Have a good time at work.  
  
See you Harry. Alex winked and closed the door behind him.  
  
Harry let out a sigh and walked back to his room massaging his temples.  
  
He was still a bit shaken at the sudden wave of emotions that had intruded into his body from the song. He hadn't been ready for that and he hadn't wanted any of it either.  
  
He decided to destroy the songs once and for all so that he would never have to think about it again.  
  
He picked up the sheets of music and held it up before his face between both fingers, and waited for the deathly ripping noise but it didn't come. Confused, he opened his eyes and realised that his hands hadn't done anything.  
  
He tried to tear the paper again but for some reason, his arms protested against his command and the paper remained whole.  
  
He gave up and instead, stuffed it back inside the black folder and threw the folder into the closet.  
_  
_Fuck that. he muttered under his breath and stormed back into the living room.

* * *

**[A/N]  
**Hey hey hey:)  
I hope you liked this chapter. Cuz personally, I kinda like it. It's sorta sweet.  
Anyways, please review and I'll update again hopefully quickly.  
Love you all from the bottom of my HEART.  
silverXserpent  
  
_  
  
_


	3. Lost Love, Never Forgotten

**Title: **The Amourette  
  
**Author: **silverXserpent  
  
**Rating: **R  
**  
Disclaimer: **All characters belong to JK. Rowling. No money is being made from this story in any way

* * *

**Thank You's:  
  
Ceineikia  
**Thanks for such a sweet review. And as you'll notice, you've got your wish:)  
love you lots.  
  
**Pila1414  
**Ahh. One of my prized reviewers. Thank you so much for liking my story. I'm so incredibley honored. I hope you like this new chapter, it's quite important as you will see after you've read it. Since you so generously shed tears for my writing, perhaps I should AT LEAST pay for the tissue. (now I'm crying!)  
  
**Angel Lain  
**I know, the closet thing is so relatable. lol. You should see my closet. Well... on second thought, I'd rather you not but you get my point. :) Alex really does love Harry. It's very sweet. I hope you liked this new chapter! thanks so much for reviewing!  
  
**Ostara  
**Thanks so much for reading both stories! I love you for that. The very first little poem' thing in the first chapter was written by me, but all the others are by well known artists. Both songs (the one in chapter two and the one in this chapter) is by Michael Bolton. Seriously, his songs are unbelievably perfect for Draco/Harry angst. I love his songs.  
  
**Robin the bird  
**YAY! You read the sequel! (mwa!) I know, it's terrible that Reamus and Snape had to die but it had to be painful. Very painful. Enjoy this new chapter:) Thanks so much for reviewing!  
  
**bri  
**Glad you liked it! I'll do my best not to disappoint you in the coming chapters!  
  
**Vasquaz  
**Alex is Harry's friend' and the story is now eight years after the war. Sorry to confuse you on that bit. And I dunno, I just think Harry playing the guitar is sooooooo bleepin' sexy.  
Thanks for the review! Love ya.  
  
**LadyAna  
**(blushes) Actually, I didn't right the song. I forgot to stick in the little credit at the end. It's Michael Bolton's song (the one in this chapter is too). He's a great musician. His songs are so touching. Thanks for the review! (Dances around too). I really hope you like this chap! kisses!  
  
**Parvati  
**Yes, it's eight years post-war. Harry never got to go into seventh year because of the war. Thanks a bunch for reviewing:)  
  
**Kyle-Brofloski3  
**Alex is cool, yes. Very loving and sweet. Martins kick major booty. I have one although I can't play it. Doesn't that suck? And it's friggen expensive too. I only have it cuz my dad's friend gave it to me for a present. Ehe.  
Thanks so much for your review:) very cheering!  
  
**keeay  
**So happy that you like this story:) Tell me what you think of this new chapter! hugs and kisses!  
  
**leftoversushi  
**Well I love YOU to pieces darling! Thank you thank you thank you!  
  
**potterluvva  
**Here it is! An update! I hope you enjoy it!  
Love ya!  
  
**Kylia Nahimana  
**Hey. You're a cool person. And who says strange is bad? Heck, I'm definately strange. I hope I answered your question about Harry running into Draco'. Technically they don't run into each other' but it happens all the same:) Thanks so much for your wonderful and juicy reviews:) Feels so good to read them.  
  
**

* * *

[Chapter Three] **Lost Love, Never Forgotten**  
  
**

It's only my heart, breakin' inside me  
It's only love, that's all it is  
I won't beg, I won't plead  
Won't get down on my knees for you  
It's only my heart, it's only my heart

It was the sudden shrill ringing, coming from his pocket, that awoke Harry, who had dozed off on the living room sofa with the telly on.  
  
Giving a surprised yelp, he tumbled off the sofa and with fumbling hands, rummaged around in his pockets for the source of the noise.  
  
He pulled out a small black mobile and jabbed the on button hastily.  
  
Hello? Harry Evans her-  
  
_Harry, mate! It's me!_ a familiar and overly loud voice said.  
  
Immediately, the nervous look disappeared from Harry's face and with a smile he rolled his eyes.  
  
Hey Ron. Long time.  
  
_Yeah... Harry, listen. Er- we need you to come down here right now. It's really important.... Pat's specifically asking for you...  
  
_Harry furrowed his brows. What is it? What's wrong? Was it another attack?  
  
_Uh- no. It wasn't an attack.... but.... I-I'm sorry mate. I can't say anything over the phelly...  
  
_All right, well I'll be there in like.... fifteen minutes. Tell Pat that. Harry sighed, looking at his watch.  
  
_Okay Harry. I'll see you in a bit.  
  
_Harry hung up and put the phone back into his pocket.  
  
Something from the tone of Ron's voice made him feel anxious.  
  
He grabbed his coat and car keys, slipped on his shoes, and headed out into the cold air.  
  
_And Pat? He usually doesn't come down here unless it's really serious business... _Harry thought uneasily as he got into his car. _And why is he specifically asking for me?_  
  
It wasn't unusual for Ron to call him, for lately there had been a series of attacks all around Britain and the Ministry had concluded that they had everything to do with the Death Eaters who escaped after the War.  
  
Harry knew so, for he remembered Dumbledore's words from that day eight years ago. And it also wasn't a surprise that the top suspect on the Ministry's list was Draco Malfoy.  
  
There wasn't a soul in the wizarding world that believed him to be innocent, and Draco Malfoy had given them no reason to think otherwise. His family, his past, his name, it was all so buried into darkness that there was no way he couldn't be behind all the attacks.  
  
It had taken Harry years to be able to keep from closing his eyes everytime he passed the bulletin board at the Auror's headquarters, for an old picture of Draco was pinned there with a blood red stamp dashed across it that read, _TOP SUSPECT'._  
  
Now though, he'd gotten used to it and to the fact that any day, the former Slytherin, and son of Lucius Malfoy, could be found and arrested and taken to Azkaban.  
  
When he got to the Auror's headquarters, which was located in between two rundown antique shops in the center of Guildford, he saw that Ron was waiting for him behind the foggy glass doors of the building.  
  
Harry parked his car quickly and hurried to where is friend was.  
  
I'm here. Harry said, shutting the door behind him. So what is it?  
  
Ron's eyes didn't meet Harry's and he coughed.  
  
Pat's waiting... we should head up.  
  
Slightly annoyed, Harry followed Ron up a flight of old creaky wooden stairs and down a dark and dank hallway lit by a few flickering lamps.  
  
The door to the main office stood ajar and Harry could hear voices speaking somewhat excitedly from inside.  
  
Ron looked at Harry once before pushing the door fully open and stepping into the office.  
  
Ah, Harry! We've been waiting for you. Pat, a sturdy-bodied middle aged man with sharp eyes and graying hair, called out smiling.  
  
Hi Pat. Harry greeted before glancing around the room.  
  
All the Auror's from division two (his division) were there. Hermione, Dean, Dennis, and Ron.  
  
He shot Hermione a grin but for some reason, Hermione didn't return it. Instead, she smiled weakly and then shifted her gaze to Pat.  
  
Alright, so let's get this meeting started and I'll cut right to the grub. Pat snatched a thick folder from the table behind him and brandished it in front of everyone. Yesterday, a few of our Auror's from division four got wind of information about the whereabouts of a Death Eater. They immediately went to investigate but by the time they got there, he was gone. We checked the house and discovered numerous articles and objects related highly to the Dark Arts which proves that this was indeed the house of a Dark Wizard.  
  
Did you find any clues as to where this Death Eater might have gone? Dean asked, taking a sip of his coffee.  
  
Pat frowned. Actually, we didn't. But he can't have gone far because he left everything behind. Including his wand.  
  
Shocked looks went over everyone's faces.  
  
He left his wand? Dennis said disbelievingly.  
  
I suppose it was too risky for him. Pat said. One wrong move and we'd be able to track him down.  
  
Dean's eyes narrowed suspiciously. But how could he have escaped so quickly?  
  
Pat sighed and rubbed his hand over his chin.  
  
Well, either he's some sort of seer, which I highly doubt, or someone from our side tipped him off. There's no other way.  
  
Harry stared at Pat, completely confused. He decided to speak up.  
  
So how are we going to find him and arrest him? he pointed at the folder Pat was holding.  
  
Pat gave a tired grunt and held out the folder to Harry. Well, the thing is, we can't officially arrest' him because we've got no proof of him actually taking part in the attacks. We'd have to do some questioning first. Perhaps some Veritaserum, but personally I'd say his name is enough proof to land him a lifetime in Azkaban. I mean, look what his father has done already.  
  
Harry nodded and took the folder. He was about to open it when Hermione let out a sudden squeak.  
  
Everyone looked up at her bewildered and she blushed furiously.  
  
Um, Harry? Like Pat said, we don't have any proof of course, and you know that. I'm sure-  
  
Ron interrupted. I agree. No one's ever witnessed him doing anything so we can't really say-  
  
That's enough. You all know perfectly well that he's nothing but a filthy traitor that jumped over to the Dark Side as soon as he saw that You-Know-Who was defeated. I don't see why you two always try to stick up for him. Pat's eyes hardened. Unless it's either of _you_ that's sending him information about us? Perhaps you're spies? ARE YOU?  
  
Hermione stammered desperately. Of course not!  
  
We'd never-  
  
Then shut the hell up.  
  
Sorry Pat...  
  
Both Ron and Hermione gazed down at their feet in embarrassment, which made Harry feel very unsettled in the pit of his stomach.  
  
Slowly, he opened the folder and forced himself to look at the papers.  
  
The heavy folder slipped to the floor with a loud thump and the papers within flew in every direction.  
  
Fuck! Watch it, Harry! shouted Pat angrily.  
  
Harry's mouth just fell open and a dazed look went over his eyes, as if he was going to pass out any second.  
  
He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.  
  
Harry! Are you okay? Hermione screeched. She ran over to him and tapped his cheek sharply.   
  
Harry opened his eyes again and gulped.  
  
Pat continued to glare at Harry as he bent down to pick up the scattered papers. What's the matter with you Harry?  
  
He finally managed to steady his breathing and shook his head.  
  
I- I'm sorry... I g-guess I just feel a bit sick or something... might be coming down with a cold....  
  
Pat paused. You need to go to St. Mungo's?  
  
N-no. I'm fine. I'll just take some potion when I get back h-home.  
  
Good, because we need you here right now. Well actually, it was Albus Dumbledore's wish that you come tonight. Didn't say why but I reckon it's because you're one of the top Auror's here... a fatherly smile crossed Pat's face and he walked over to Harry. And that's why I'm making you commander of this case. I'm trusting that you'll find him in no time.  
  
I- I don't know Pat... maybe Dean would be better with this one... I mean... he's a great Auror- Harry tried.  
  
But Pat just kept on smiling. You deserve this spot. And Dean just got done with that one case up in Paris. You shouldn't be so modest.  
  
Harry's mouth opened and closed silently. He didn't know what to say.  
  
Pat thumped him on the shoulder and turned to face the rest of the Auror's in the room. So any news, sightings, _anything_ about Draco Malfoy, will be reported to me immediately. We've got to be extra careful with this one. He might lure us into a trap if we don't keep our heads up. Dennis, I want you to take these files back to the Ministry and to look over. They might be able to help us out. Everyone else, just be on the look out. End of meeting.  
  
Everyone nodded and then began leaving the office one by one.  
  
Later Harry. Dean waved, grinning.  
  
Yeah, and congrats on getting the job as commander. Dennis threw him a thumbs up and they exited after Pat.  
  
Soon, he, Ron, and Hermione were the only one's in the room.  
  
There was an unbroken silence for a while. Hermione, her arms crossed and biting her lip nervously, and Ron standing with his hands behind his back and fidgeting his shoe against the worn carpet on the floor.  
  
Finally, Harry heaved a sigh and rubbed his hands over his eyes.  
  
I knew this would come someday but.... I guess part of me didn't want it to.... you know?  
  
Hermione looked up, her eyes brimming with sympathy.  
  
We know Harry.... we know. she whispered softly. We tried to convince Pat not to get you involved but for some reason Dumbledore was insistent on getting you to come so.... there was nothing we could do.  
  
Yeah, believe me. I went to see Dumbledore myself but he wouldn't explain anything to me. Kinda weird. Ron said frowning. Do you think he knows something we don't?  
  
I don't think so Ron. I mean, Dumbledore wouldn't keep silent about something _that_ important. These attacks that are happening are really serious. Hermione said.  
  
Harry put up his hands. You guys, I'm cool with it. I was just shocked a little cuz I mean, he's been missing for eight years and no one's ever been able to find him.  
  
Ron furrowed his brows and glanced uneasily at Hermione and Harry.  
  
But how do you think he found out about the Aurors? I mean, Pat's right. He couldn't have heard of it if it wasn't someone telling him.  
  
Who though? Who would ever do that? Do you suppose we have a spy of theirs on our side? Hermione asked worriedly.  
  
There's got to be _someone_ that's doing it. We just can't figure out _who._  
  
Harry cleared his throat. You guys? I- I'm going to head home. Sorry.... just a bit tired... he smiled apologetically and began moving towards the door. Call me if anything happens alright?  
  
Hermione gave him a tight hug and kissed him on the cheek.  
  
Of course Harry. And don't get yourself down about this whole thing okay? It'll be fine.  
  
She let go of him and then Ron gave him a friendly hug too.  
  
Yeah, no worries mate. We'll give you a ring on the phelly-  
  
_Phone,_ Ronald. Hermione butted in.  
  
Ron rolled his eyes. Yeah, yeah. Whatever. he looked back at Harry again. We'll give you a ring on the _phone_ if we hear anything. Good?  
  
Harry smiled. Sounds good. Well, night you two. I'll talk to you soon.  
  
Good night Harry.  
  
night Harry.  
  
Harry quickly walked out of the room let out a deep breath before heading down the stairs and out the doors.  
  
_Draco....._ Harry found himself thinking to himself. _After all these years..... _He kicked the curb in frustration and yanked the car door open and got in.  
  
He slammed the door shut and then slumped against the steering wheel with his eyes closed.  
  
_God... today is SO not my day...._ He rested his chin on his arms and tried to stamp out the swirling emotions in his chest. _It's nothing. I'm just shocked.... that's all....  
  
_He turned the keys in and revved up the engine.  
  
_Pat's right. He's just another traitor who chose the Dark Side..... he deserves Azkaban after all those attacks....  
  
_The rest of the ride back to his home, he kept trying to convince himself that he wasn't really affected by the news that Draco had suddenly been sighted after eight long years, and that he wanted nothing more then to turn him over to the Ministry if they managed to find him again. But inside, a part of him hoped that it wouldn't be him that ended up catching Draco. He didn't think he could stay sane if he came face to face with the man.  
  
Once he got back into his flat, he turned on the stereo full blast, despite the late hours. He felt that some good music would be able to distract him from his shaken up state.  
  
Unfortunately, the usual radio channel that he frequently listened to was playing a series of slow love songs that did anything _but_ distract him.  
  
he moaned exasperatedly and fell backwards onto the couch with a defeated flump'. _God is surely being cruel to me on purpose._ He thought furiously. _  
  
_He found his mind drifting away as the mournful song swept him over and caressed his aching heart. _ I really don't need this right now...._ he tried to protest to his mind.  
  
The song faded and then the radio host gave a sigh and a soft chuckle.  
  
_We all have those painful loves, we all have those heartbreaks that we're trying to get over... love..... such a strong word. Some of us, like me, never really learn the true meaning of it. I've got an email here for a request... from a miss Amy Newcomb. She wants to dedicate a song to her ex-boyfriend. It's called It's Only My Heart' by Michael Bolton, another wonderful artist with amazing breakup songs. Well miss Newcomb, here it is. It's Only My Heart'...'  
_  
_I've been down, I've been weak  
And I've lost enough sleep over you  
It's gonna take me some time  
But I've made up my mind  
I'll get through' _  
  
Damn right I have. Harry muttered halfheartedly.  
  
_I'm gonna learn to carry on now  
'Cause I'm determined to be strong now  
Don't worry, don't worry  
It's gonna be alright  
Don't worry, don't worry  
It's not the end of my life'_  
  
Harry snorted. HA. Like I would let something like that tear my life apart.  
  
_It's only my heart, breakin' inside me  
It's only love, that's all it is  
I won't beg, I won't plead  
Won't get down on my knees for you  
It's only my heart, it's only my heart'_  
  
was the only objection he could utter.  
  
_I'm not missing your touch  
I don't hurt half as much as before  
If I call you I swear  
It don't mean that I care anymore  
Just keep your love 'cause I don't need it  
Wish I could make myself believe it  
Don't worry, don't worry  
Don't you be concerned  
Don't worry, don't worry  
It's not the end of my world'  
  
_ Harry pulled a pillow over his face and wrapped his arms around it to shut out the music.  
  
God dammit. he said quietly. God dammit. Fuck my life.  
  
His heart was clenching madly and he felt like curling up into a ball and hugging himself to wall out the sickening feeling he was getting in his stomach. _I can't be doing this right now...._  
  
He was supposed to be completely over everything. Hell, he was supposed to have forgotten his past. He was supposed to have thrown away all the things that pained his heart so much. They were supposed to be long gone and he was supposed to be living peacefully without any disturbances.  
  
_What's going to happen to me? _ Harry asked himself miserably. _Just give me a fucking sign so I can get on with my fucking life...._  
  
At that moment, there was a loud knocking on his front door. He yelped and bit his tongue by accident.  
  
he bellowed loudly, tears creeping up into his eyes. OW that fucking hurt!  
  
He grabbed a tissue from the coffee table and stuffed it into his mouth to stop the bleeding.  
  
The banging came again and he got up from the sofa rather annoyed, and stomped over to the front door.  
  
What time do you think the hell it is? You'll pay if you hurt my door- he yanked open the door violently and got a blast of icy air in his face. What do you wan- his mouth dropped open.  
  
There in front of him, stood Draco Malfoy. His eyes closed and his face a deathly pale. The next second, the blonde collapsed to the floor and Harry threw out his hand just in time before he hit the hard floor.  
  
Holy shit.... he managed weakly as he held the cold and frail body at a distance from his own. Draco seemed to have fainted and he was currently unconscious.  
  
Hesitating only for a moment, he dragged the man through the doorway and into the warm living room. Draco was so light that he could have been dragging a bag full of sawdust for all the difference it made. The blonde didn't look healthy at all. There were bags under his eyes and he was gaunt looking. It shocked Harry immensely.  
  
Harry lifted the body effortlessly and carried him the rest of the way to his bedroom where he laid him on his bed and pulled the warm duvet up to his chin. When he finally was able to think clearly, he stepped back in sudden realisation and nearly stumbled over the guitar still lying on the floor.  
  
Letting out a sharp gasping breath, he practically ran from the bedroom and back to the living room.  
  
_This can't be happening. This can't be real._ Harry's brain yelled desperately. _This is a fucking nightmare._  
  
_I've gotta call Pat. I've gotta tell him about this.  
  
_He reached into his pocket with shaking hands and retrieved his mobile.  
  
_Wait. Don't do anything rash just yet. You're not calm.  
  
_He let his mobile fall with a clunk to the ground. He didn't even notice.  
  
_You should call Hermione first. She'll know what to do.  
  
_He propped his elbows onto his knees and buried his face in his hands.  
  
_You have a fucking Death Eater in your house. Sleeping in your bed. You could be dead tomorrow morning. _His conscience shouted.  
  
_Then let him kill me. I don't bloody care.  
  
_With a groan, he punched the cushions and fell back onto them, unshed tears threatening to escape his eyes.  
  
_You'll call Hermione first thing tomorrow morning.  
  
_He nodded silently to himself and closed his eyes, willing his mind to fall asleep so that he could forget everything and deal with the problem on his hands tomorrow.  
  
_I'm doomed,_ were his last helpless thoughts as he fell into a dreamless sleep, hoping that time would stop and the next morning would not come.  
_

* * *

_**So tell me. Good chapter? or bad chapter? Review please:)  
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX  
silverXserpent**_  
_  
  
__


	4. A Battle of the Minds

**Title: **The Amourette  
  
**Author: **silverXserpent  
  
**Rating: **R  
  
**Disclaimer: **All characters belong to JK. Rowling. No money is being from this story in any way.

* * *

**Thank You Reviewers!**

daringtobeme  
Thank you so much for reading this sequel! You rock too! And I'm glad you're eager to read chapter four because here it is! I hope you like it just as much:)  
  
**sexy-shannon  
**Congrats on getting a username:) I read your profile and I thought that your name was very sweet, you know, about your boyfriend and all. Thanks for reviewing! I hope you continue to read my updates as they come along!  
  
**Kylia Nahimana  
**Oh-Oh. I can't say anything until you've read this chap but it might not be what you expect Harry to do. It's interesting. But thanks so much for reviewing like always. My story wouldn't be half as fun to write if I didn't have your awesome reviews to read. So thanks again.  
  
**Kat Davi  
**I'm so glad you like the story! Here's the fourth chapter, I really hope you like it too:)  
  
**remusandsiriusffe  
**I wuv you too and I've written more! hehe. Thanks a bunch, and hugs to you.  
  
**Vasquaz  
**I'll never stop writing! NEVERRRR! Eh, gone crazy, you'll just have to excuse me. I'm so happy that you're keeping up with my story. I hope I never let you down with my writing! Thanks so much!  
  
**leftoversushi  
**(EEP!) I hope this chapter isn't a bad cliffy. It's kind of a _what?'_ sort of ending but it's probably not _too_ bad. :) Thanks so much for reviewing! You are a wonderful reviewer! xoxoxo  
  
**KumoriShino  
**I hope you get an alert about this chapter soon! I LOVE YOU TOO! You make me so happy! I'm just in tears. I hope you like this new chapter!  
  
**Pila1414  
**Ugh, the computer I had before this one ALWAYS managed to freeze at the most inappropriate of times too! I wanted to kill it so bad but I just ended up buying a new one. ehe. Love you x 100 too! :) Enjoy this new chapter and tell me what you think! You're one of my absolutely fav reviewers! You're just so sweet:)  
  
**Kyle-Brofloski3  
**I won't reveal where he's been but it'll come out soon enough. I took a bit of more time then usual to write this chapter (as you'll see it's a might longer then the others). Thanks so much for your reviews! You kick butt!  
  
**sunshine888  
**(Phew!) When I read the first words of your review, I had cold sweat dripping down my face. But I'm so glad it wasn't what I thought it was! HAHA. Thank you so so so much for reviewing! love ya!  
  
**all improvviso amore  
**Yes, The Amour' is finished and this is it's sequel. And the sequel will be just as long I'm hoping! Thanks so much for reading my story! xoxo to you.  
  
**min  
**(pleasantly shocked!) Thanks so much for reviewing:) I hope you like this chapter too! Hugs and kisses.  
  
**Parvati  
**LOL. Yeah, I like to update at LEAST twice a week. It works best for me and I know how it feels to have to wait FOREVER for someone to update. It's frustrating! Anyways, thanks so much for your wonderful reviews! Love ya Parvati!  
  
**zowie-bowie  
**SOMEBODY CALL 911! CPR! QUICK!!!!!!! Lol. You're such a cool reviewer! Thanks for continuing ro read my story. I'm always so happy to see your name in the reviewers list!  
  
**Robin the bird  
**(dun dun dun) who knows? Well, me and Draco know but... everyone else will just have to find out later! har har har! j/k. Thanks so much for reading the updates! luv ya.  
  
**bajs  
**THANKS! I'm flattered that you thought so! Hope you like this new chap!  
  
**potterluvva  
**Yay! I updated! Pat is head of the Auror department (a character I created) and Dennis is Dennis Creevy, ya know, Colin's brother? Yep. And the dead are Ginny, Severus, Remus (those are the ones I mentioned in the story). TONS of others died too but it's quite irrevelant to the story so I didn't mention them. Hope you like this new chap! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
**driven to insanity  
**I'll give you more! Here it is! hehe. Thanks for reviewing! I really hope you like this new chapter too! xoxo  
  
**Angel Lain  
**Yeah, lots of ppl didn't expect Draco to turn up that way, but I didn't want it to be the usual they meet at a club and fall for each other all over again thing. It's too common you know? I hope this new chap is good. Tell me what you think! xoxo  
  
**Moriann  
**Thank you so much! You don't know how flattered I am to hear that! (cries). I'm glad you liked The Amour' too. Hope you like this new chap just as much:)**

* * *

[Chapter Four] **Battle of the Minds  
  
Harry lay tossing and turning in his sleep, not really dreaming of anything but he was in pain. It was impossible to tell whether it was physical or mental, but it was pain nonetheless. He felt uncomfortably hot as if his body was on fire and his unconscious self was crying out words that he couldn't quite hear.  
  
His nails, digging sharply into the flesh of his palm, was what woke him from this terrifying state.  
  
His eyes shot open and he gasped for breath desperately, trying to calm his racing heart and heaving lungs. It took him a while to finally be able to see his surroundings somewhat vaguely and it was then that he noticed that he was laying sprawled on the sofa and not in his bed.  
  
He closed his eyes and rubbed his sweat glistening forehead with a trembling hand. His mind was too confused to think about anything, let alone remember why the hell he was in fact still in yesterday's clothing.  
  
Everything was completely still around him. There were no annoying thumps coming from the residence below him. There was no sound of zooming cars in the street outside. There was no blinding morning sunlight streaking through the gap in the curtained windows. He slowly opened his eyes again and turned his head weakly toward the digital clock sitting atop the coffee table in front of the sofa.  
  
The red flashing numbers read; 5:02 am.  
  
He sighed and rolled over, deciding that it was too early to be awake. But sleep never claimed him again when his mind began rewinding at breakneck speed and suddenly, images of the previous night were zipping before his eyes. A horrified sinking feeling invaded his body and he felt as if he was frozen and stuck to the sofa. The pounding of his veins could have matched the speed of a shooting bullet and the silent noise was deafening in his ears.  
  
What if the man in the other room heard the insane beating of his heart? What if he woke up and came charging into the room this very moment? It was even a surprise that Harry was still alive.  
  
Thinking rationally was completely out of the question. He didn't even have his wand. In fact, his wand was hidden in the secret cabinet in his bedroom along with all his other magical trinkets, but the lock on the door could easily be broken by a wizard. The only danger up until now had been muggles and so he hadn't bothered to put a strong anti-opening spell on it.  
  
He was completely oblivious to the fact that his lip was bleeding and swelling slowly in size from biting on it too hard.  
  
How long he remained this way was unknown to Harry but the minute some of his senses returned to his paralysed being, he practically tumbled off of the sofa and onto the cold wooden floor in his hurry to reach his mobile which was lying exactly where he'd dropped it the night before.  
  
With trembling hands, he tried to punch in the correct numbers on the tiny key pad but the phone was shaking so much that he kept missing and jabbing at the wrong keys.  
  
His throat let out a frustrated noise and he attempted again. On his fourth try, he finally got it right and frantically waited for the person on the other side to pick up.  
  
One ring. Harry tried to inhale without choking.  
  
Second ring. Harry's fingers tightened painfully around the small phone.  
  
Third ring. It seemed to take an eternity for the ring to end.  
  
_Please pick up!_ He thought as he sent frightened glances over his shoulder toward the closed bedroom door across the living room.  
  
When he was about to give up, the line clicked and a sleepy and muffled voice answered.  
  
__  
  
he breathed, his voice quivering.  
  
There was a pause and then loud shuffling.  
_  
_Hermione's voice hissed. _Harry? What's wrong?  
  
_ he said, speaking in a barely audible whisper. I- I...  
  
_Harry. What's wrong??_ her voice sounded urgent and very worried. _Are you okay? What's happened? Are you hurt?  
  
_ he replied. He realised that he couldn't bring himself to tell her about last night, and the fact that their most wanted and searched for suspect was sleeping only paces away.  
  
_Then what is it? What's wrong?  
  
_Oh god. he murmured, running his free hand through is hair. I d-don't know what to do... I-I can't....  
  
_HARRY? What in the name of Merlin is going on? Should I go over there? Harry please! Tell me!  
  
_Harry picked himself off of the floor jerkily and stumbled into the kitchen. He leaned against the counter to support his weight since his legs were about to give out at any second.  
  
Hermione? He's- he's..... Harry stuttered and gulped. He's here.  
  
_Who is?  
  
_  
  
Hermione gave a sharp gasp and there was silence.  
  
_H-he's there?_ she echoed faintly, obviously not knowing what to say. _Harry? Did he hurt you? Are you-_  
  
No... he's not armed and he's not conscious... Harry said nervously. He just... appeared at my door last night and then he blacked out...  
  
Harry slid down to the floor wearily and groaned.  
  
Oh god Hermione... What am I supposed to do? Harry knew the answer to that question but he couldn't help but feel completely lost and helpless.  
  
__  
  
I know I should've called Pat but I had to call you first.... he cut in. But I guess I should call him now-  
  
_Wait Harry-_ Hermione said hastily. _I-I'm not saying that Pat shouldn't know about this but... maybe ... maybe it would be better to watch him for a while...  
_  
Harry frowned and gripped the phone even tighter. So tight that his knuckles were turning blue.  
  
Wh-what do you mean?  
  
_Well, he's not armed, he's unconscious, and even if we arrested him now, we'd have to use Veritaserum even though it's illegal to use it unless we have proof to support our intentions... I just think it would be wiser to try and get information from him without all the complications...  
_  
Harry gave a disbelieving laugh.  
  
Complications? Y-you can't be serious! I- I can't.... He can't stay here!  
  
_Harry listen. I just don't think we should jump to conclusions. It could be risky but I really can't bring myself to believe that he's guilty. Can you?  
_  
Harry ignored the question and tried to keep his voice lowered despite the anger that was mounting in his chest.  
  
I can't Hermione. he said flatly. And you know that.  
  
_You don't know what Pat might do if you turn him over Harry. He might not even give Draco a fair trial. He has enough power to throw him straight into Azkaban!_  
  
Then let him do what he wants. He knows best and I bloody don't give a fuck what happens to Malfoy. he spat coldly. He deserves it.  
  
_Do you really mean that?_ Hermione asked softly._ Do you really think that he killed all those muggles?  
_  
Harry's mouth opened to say , but for some reason, the word got lost on it's way to his mouth.  
  
I don't know. he said instead.  
  
_Then give him a chance. Let him tell you the truth himself. If anyone can do that, it's you._  
  
I can't. he said again. He hates me Hermione. He doesn't care a shit about me just like I don't care a shit about him. Having him here will just dig up old memories that I don't want to remember.  
  
_You're running away from your past Harry._ Hermione said in that same tone that made Harry want to scream in frustration.  
  
Harry snorted angrily.  
  
_I'm_ running away? _He's_ the one that bloody ruined my life! He's the one that ran away and hid himself from the world all these years because people want him in prison!  
  
He heard Hermione sigh exasperatedly.  
  
_Fine then, Harry. Do what you think is best. After all, you are in charge of this case. I still want to get more sleep so you deal with it alone. Goodbye Harry._  
  
Hermione, wai-  
  
There was a click and Harry groaned through gritted teeth and tossed the phone onto the counter.  
  
_God dammit. What the hell am I supposed to do?_ He thought. _She can't be serious... I can't...  
  
_He sat there on the kitchen floor for a long time, knowing that he really had no choice. He wanted to get this off his hands and leave it to someone like Pat to deal with it but he also knew that there was a small part of him that was too cowardly to do so. he cursed his unstable self-control and tried to think of the situation optimistically although everything inside of him felt entirely opposite.  
  
_If you can get Malfoy to spill the truth, you can send him straight to Azkaban instead of messing around with the laws and using Veritaserum. _A voice said inside his head. _Either way he's going to end up in the Ministry's hands so why not be rewarded by Pat while you're at it? Like Hermione said, this is your case.  
  
_But a second more stubborn voice washed over the other.  
  
_Stop lying to yourself. You know that you don't care a shit about Pat's praise. Why are you really doing this?  
  
To prove that I'm one hell of a good Auror!_ Harry fumed. _What other reason would there be?  
  
Must you ask?  
  
You're just running...  
  
Running away...  
  
Avoiding the truth and the pain...  
  
But tell me.  
  
What are you really running from?  
  
_Shut up! he bellowed outloud. His voice cut through the still air like a knife and he winced.  
  
_Oh crap. Oh crap._ He shut his eyes and listened anxiously for any other noises but thankfully, there were none. Harry let out a sigh and pushed himself off of the floor.  
  
_What to do now?_ he pondered as he began pacing back and forth in the dining room. _I guess I should just wait until he wakes up.  
  
_With nothing else to do, he returned to the living room sofa and turned on the TV at minimum volume to pass the time.  
  
The next two hours, he just let the light buzzing of the TV wash over him. He wasn't really watching any of it; his eyes were blank and staring, and his mind was completely elsewhere. He tried to concentrate on the morning soap reruns but his thoughts kept drifting off and soon, he wasn't even aware of when one show ended and the other began.  
  
When he was finally able to halt his whirling mind, the clock read 7: 30 and so he shut off the TV and decided to make his morning coffee.  
  
The house was still quiet, except for Harry's feet against the kitchen tiles and the coffee maker being pulled out of cupboard.  
  
He turned on the coffee maker and spooned out some ground coffee beans into it, along with a few cups of water. The soft gurgling sounds and the wafting smell of coffee calmed him quite a bit; enough to run the current situation somewhat sensibly over again in his head.  
  
He had to plan this out very carefully and slowly. Any wrong moves and he could put not only himself but the rest of the Ministry in danger. he had to make sure not to reveal anything about the purpose the whole thing, nor anything else related to the Ministry. In fact, it was important to stay away from the Wizarding world almost entirely. If Pat found out about his actions too soon, all his efforts would be wasted.  
  
The only good thing was that it wouldn't be a problem for Harry not to use magic because he hadn't really done anything with a wand for years. Working as an undercover Auror who lived and blended in among muggles could come in handy at times like these.  
  
Once his coffee was made, he poured himself a mug of it, dumped in a liberal amount of sugar and milk and sat down at the dining table to continue his planning.  
  
But amidst his silent thoughts, question kept popping up that he couldn't seem to be able to ignore.  
  
Why did a Death Eater come to his place? How in the world did he find Harry's apartment? No one in the Wizarding community except the people he worked closely with, knew of Harry's job as an Auror and of his whereabouts. They made sure of that.  
  
Harry felt that he didn't know who to trust anymore. There had to be someone in their ring of Ministry workers that was sending information to the Dark Side. It could be anyone.  
  
He'd never in his life hoped more that his friends were not involved. He didn't think he could stand the devastating shock if Ron or Hermione turned out to be the spies. But he highly doubted they would do such a thing.  
  
He shook his head and kicked himself for even considering the possibility.  
  
The first thing on his to-do list was to get Draco's trust. Without it, he'd be as good as a paper umbrella on a rainy day. Completely useless. If he managed to get Draco to trust him, he would be able to drag some information out that would confirm their suspicions and complete the case for good.  
  
_But can **I** trust him? _Harry wondered gloomily. _After all he did, can I?  
  
_No. He couldn't. He didn't want to. And plus, Harry's trust wasn't the issue here. All he needed to do was gain Draco's trust, get him to confess and then Pat would take it from there. Even if Draco turned out to be innocent, that wasn't Harry's problem.  
  
_You've got to act as if nothing is out of the ordinary,_ he told himself firmly. _So what would I normally be doing now?  
  
_As if in reply, his stomach growled.  
  
_So breakfast it is.  
  
_He went about fixing some toast and eggs and was in the process of heating the pan when a sound that he usually didn't hear, reached his ears. It was incredibly faint yet he knew it had to be someone's voice. He stopped what he was doing to try and catch it again but the sound had ceased.  
  
He turned off the cooker and tiptoed slowly out of the kitchen. He halted a few yards away from his bedroom door and stared at it.  
  
That was when the voice came again. This time, he had no doubt that it was Draco's voice. He seemed to be crying out in his sleep.  
  
Cautiously, he inched forward and reached his hand out for the knob. His heart was beating fast again and a sudden thirst for water made him swallow the large lump in his throat before grasping the cool metal.  
  
Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door open and let it swing slowly to the wall on his right.  
  
At the sight of Draco in front of him, a pang of fear pinched his insides and his eyes grew wide. He ran over to the bed and turned the blonde over onto his back.  
  
Draco was thrashing around under the duvet with a pained expression on his face and sweat, thick on his forehead. The sickly paleness from last night was gone, but the burning flush in his cheeks now, didn't make things look any better.  
  
Harry flung the cover off of the thin body and saw that the sheets and the clothing Draco had on was drenched.  
  
he muttered worriedly. He looks bad. He rushed to the bathroom across the hall and took down a bottle from the mirror cabinet. He then went back to his dresser in his room and pulled out a pair of clean pajama bottoms and a shirt.  
  
A weak moan escaped Draco and Harry whirled around in surprise. The voice sent shivers up Harry's spine.  
  
Harry sat down on the edge of the bed and with trembling hands, lifted Draco's head gently and let the contents of the bottle trickle into his mouth.  
  
Immediately, Draco's face relaxed and his body slumped back into the mattress. Harry quickly stripped off the sleeping man's wet clothing and somehow managed to get the dry pajamas on.  
  
He then proceeded to towel Draco's face and neck and pulled the duvet up once more.  
  
Draco was now sleeping peacefully and the redness in his cheeks was starting to fade. His chest was rising up and down steadily and calmly; in complete contrast to the labored heaving from a few seconds before. Harry had done everything he could think of, yet for some reason, he continued to sit on the bed, gazing through the dimness at the object of what he'd been pushing away from for the past eight years. It seemed unreal, and it scared him. He didn't know why he couldn't just give up this case right now and go on living as though this interruption in his life had never occurred. It'd be easy, and he wouldn't have to be tormented by his unwelcome past.  
  
He smiled sadly to himself and brushed a damp blonde lock out of Draco's face without thinking.  
  
_Where the hell did my life go wrong?_ He wondered.  
  
Suddenly, the figure beneath him stirred.  
  
  
  
Harry stifled a gasp and jumped backwards, ungracefully crashing to the floor. He clamped his mouth shut and held his breath.  
  
There was a soft rustle of sheets and a pause before Draco's head peered over the edge of the bed.  
  
The two stared at each other for what seemed like eternity before a weak smirk spread over the blonde's lips.  
  
What are you doing down there?  
  
Harry didn't hear a word of Draco's question. He just saw the silver pools flickering back at him.  
  
He realised that his mouth was hanging open and blinked, before a blush began to creep up into his face. He dropped his gaze hastily and stood up.  
  
Y-you're awake. he grunted lamely.  
  
Draco nodded slowly.  
  
I guess so.  
  
Harry blushed even more and cursed at himself inwardly for his clumsiness. Without meeting Draco's eyes, he coughed and turned away slightly.  
  
Er- do you... are you hungry? Or thirsty?  
  
I could use some water. Draco replied. Harry saw out of the corner of his eye, Draco close his eyes tiredly and lower himself back onto the mattress.  
  
Right. I'll bring a glass.  
  
But when he returned with a glass of water five minutes later, Draco had fallen asleep again, with his head turned sideways and his disheveled hair splayed out over the pillow.  
  
Harry set the glass on the bedside table and glanced at him once more, before shutting the bedroom door quietly and retreating to the living room.  
  
By then, the sun was already well up and the sounds of the morning that had been absent a few hours before, were back to their usual business. He yanked open the heavy curtains and let the bright light pour in, illuminating even the darkest and furthest corners of the scopic room. Seeing the rest of the world outside his flat going about normally and unaffected eased his tension a might, for in a sense, it told him that things weren't insane after all. That the whole chain of unexpected events weren't impossible like he'd thought.  
  
Certainly, seeing Draco Malfoy for the first time since the end of the War had an affect on Harry that he couldn't quite understand but he knew that they both had their own lives now. Draco had his work cut out for him and Harry had his own duties to fulfill, which was at this point in time, to do whatever he could for the Ministry as a top Auror.  
  
He should be able to ignore his past without it interfering with his mind; he was a grown man now and had learned from his experiences that emotions really just got in the way of everything. Therefore, love was another one of those strict emotions that you had to trust and be entirely and completely sure of, before committing yourself to it's powers.  
  
This was one of the reasons that during his years as an Auror, Harry had restricted himself from too much of any kind of sentimental affection for another human being. Of course, it didn't mean that he never felt attracted to anyone. He just tried to keep himself at a good distance from the danger zones. Alex, his friend for a long time now, was openly taken with Harry but he had accepted Harry's plea to become nothing more then close friends. Alex was one of those people that never pushed anything to get what he wanted, he was rarely angry or jealous. Just always smiling and an occasional tease. Harry was grateful to have met such a wonderful guy.  
  
Whenever Harry felt sad or stressed, Alex would be there to comfort him whether on the phone, or if he wasn't at work, he'd race over to Harry's like lightning and hug him and kiss him and tell him everything would be okay.  
  
On the shelf that held his volumes of thick books, a framed photograph of them was propped up; a picture of the first time they had met at a club called Moonlight. They were both still considerably younger and more carefree looking, with their faces red from the heat and the alcohol. Alex had his arm around Harry's waist and Harry had his head against Alex's shoulder. It had been a memorable night. From then on, they had become good friends and would go to Moonlight on the weekends along with other friends.  
  
Harry absentmindedly fingered the frame and sighed. If only he wasn't an Auror, he would have been more appreciative of Alex's sweet compassion. He wouldn't hesitate to let himself drown in the sea called love. But of course, that was only his irresponsible side. He had far more important things to do, like catch Death Eaters and stop innocent people from getting murdered. He was depended on.  
  
He'd often wondered what a life as anyone else would be like. Not as Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived, or He-Who-Defeated-The-Dark-Lord. Just a plain guy you could spot anywhere and not care to give him a second glance. Without the scar, without the past, without the fame. Just someone who could spend every day of their life prancing about with their friends with not a care in the world. Someone who didn't have to hide in order to stay alive. Someone who could love without having the fear of endangering their loved ones.  
  
What would it have been like if he were a muggle? What if he hadn't been born a wizard? What if magic never existed? Would the world be any different?  
  
He was honestly enjoying his life among muggles so much right now that he sometimes forgot that he had ever gone to a boarding school that taught magic, and that hidden in his bedroom, he owned a wand. Sometimes, he even wished to forget it. Especially when he was spending time with his friends. The whole concept of Wizardry seemed so unnecessary.  
  
_What the hell am I thinking?_ Harry thought to himself irritably. _I should be thankful that I didn't end up having to spend my whole adolescence with the Dursleys. That would have been terrible.  
  
_He set down the photo and turned around to see Draco standing in the bedroom doorway, looking at him with an unreadable expression. It was a very familiar expression, but Harry had never liked it once in his past because it was impossible to decipher.  
  
Harry kept his eyes at a point behind Draco and stuck his hands in his pockets.  
  
You look depressed. Draco's voice whispered quietly.  
  
Harry shrugged and tried to look as though he was simply tired.  
  
I haven't had a good sleep lately. That's all.  
  
You've changed a bit.  
  
Harry glanced up, and was startled to see that Draco was smiling. It was a sincere smile, and not a trace of his smirk, which was very unDraco-like. But perhaps the Slytherin had changed too.  
  
Well it's been a while hasn't it. was Harry's reply.  
  
Yeah, it has.  
  
They stood in silence the next few minutes, Harry biting his lip and running his hand nervously and repetitively through his hair and Draco's intense eyes never leaving Harry's face. Harry couldn't help but feel as if the blonde was studying him, trying to memorize every new feature of his face, every sparkle in his eyes. Finally, he broke the tense lapse and motioned toward the kitchen.  
  
Are you hungry now?  
  
Draco nodded and watched as Harry pulled his hands out of his pockets and made his way into the kitchen wordlessly.  
  
Sorry it's not much, but I'm not that much of a great cook. Harry said as he plopped down into a dining room chair not long after, along with two plates of eggs and toast.  
  
Draco didn't answer and the silence continued throughout the meal. Only the clinking of their forks against their plates could be heard.  
  
After both their plates were cleaned off, Draco looked pointedly at Harry, as though he wanted to say something, but he never did. Harry had to practice all his self control not to show the annoyance he felt, on his face.  
  
There were a million things that _he_ wanted to ask Draco but he knew that it would only manage to make things between them more awkward, hence putting his chances of gaining Draco's trust at a more difficult level. And he didn't feel that he wanted more of a challenge then what he currently had in his hands.  
  
Suddenly, his mobile rang and Harry got up to answer it.  
  
His mouth still chewing the last bite of toast, his voice was slightly muffled.  
  
he asked, gulping down orange juice.  
  
_Uh- Harry?  
_  
Harry blushed and swallowed hastily.  
  
Hi Alex, sorry about that- I was just finishing up breakfast-  
  
_Breakfast? Isn't it sort of late fot that? More like lunch?  
  
_I woke up late! Harry protested.  
  
_Oh, I see. Lazy bum.  
_  
Shut up. Harry smiled into the phone. So how was work last night?  
  
_Not bad. Quite a lot of people. There were thirty orders of the special and the cook was really sweating it._ Alex laughed. _And don't worry, all the diners were there as a couple so I wasn't in danger or anything._  
  
  
  
_So you were okay yesterday after I left?  
_  
Harry furrowed his brows, trying to remember what had happened yesterday when Alex had been there. It seemed like such a long time ago.  
  
Er- yeah. Yeah. I was fine. I'm cool now.  
  
__ said Alex, copying Harry's defiant tone, making Harry laugh too. _God though, I'm so worn out from all the orders that I had to take. I definitely need tonight to release all that stress!  
_  
  
  
_Duh! Moonlight? You said you were coming!_  
  
Oh, that! Yeah, of course..... of course I'll be there. Harry said quickly. Have I ever missed a chance to go?  
  
_Phew, cuz you got me scared there for a second Harry. You're such a tease.  
_  
Me? A tease? Oh pu-leeeze.  
  
_Whatever. Just don't forget the time okay Har? If you forget, I won't forgive you!  
_  
Right. Right. Well I'll see you then. Harry chuckled.  
  
_Yeah, I'll see you. Later luv.  
_  
Bye Alex.  
  
Harry turned off the phone and went back to the dining table to find Draco looking at him again. He thought he could have imagined it but Draco's expression seemed to be a bit darker then before.  
  
Before sitting down, he decided that he had better tell Draco about that night and so he forced himself to look into Draco's eyes without turning away.  
  
That was a friend of mine... and we usually go out with a couple of other friends on Friday nights and weekends to a club or bar or something. You want to come with? It'll be fun.  
  
Draco pursed his lips and looked to be considering the invitation thoughtfully before he shrugged and stood up with both his and Harry's plates.  
  
Sure, I guess. Why not.  
  
Harry raised his eyebrows. He had half expected Draco to refuse.  
  
It's a muggle club by the way. And all my friends are muggles.  
  
  
  
So? I just thought you....  
  
I've been to muggle clubs before, although they're not as good as the ones in our world. But they're okay. And as for your muggle friends.... I'll put up with them.  
  
Harry stifled a smile despite his uncomfortableness.  
  
Great. You'll like it at Moonlight. It's a great club.  
  
It'd better be.  
  
Er- did you bring... any clothes? Harry asked slowly, realising for the first time that he hadn't seen any sort of suitcase of Draco's.  
  
Of course I did. Draco said, looking at Harry as though that had been the most obvious thing in the world. It's in my trouser pocket.  
  
Harry frowned. In your trouser pocket?  
  
You don't think I would have hauled it around by hand do you?  
  
Harry started, feeling bewildered and worried at the same time. He'd heard that Draco had left his wand, so that would mean that he expected Harry to unshrink it for him...  
  
Draco smiled. don't worry about being tracked down. You _do_ know why wandless magic was banned by the Ministry right?  
  
Harry stared. You... you can do wandless magic?  
  
Not many wizards can, but I was born with it. Just like you were born a Parseltongue.  
  
Harry was about to say that he actually _wasn't_ born a Parseltongue but decided against it at the last second, for he'd have to mention Voldemort and at the moment, such a name was too dangerous to utter in the presence of someone like Draco.  
  
he murmured.  
  
Draco was scanning the room with what looked like mild interest before turning back to Harry.  
  
So you're really living as a muggle, huh?  
  
Harry ran the question over in his head quickly. He had to be careful with anything Draco asked or said, for all he knew, Draco could be trying to do exactly what Harry was trying to accomplish. Which was to get as much information out of the other as possible, and inform their side about it.  
  
He resolved to answer with a conservative, .  
  
Is it fun?  
  
  
  
After that, Draco didn't ask anything more. He seemed to have taken Harry's lack of speech as a sign that he didn't want to talk. Harry didn't feel that rushing thing would be safe on his part, so he decided to save his probing until later.  
  
This was going to be one hell of a battle of the minds between them.

* * *

**So how do you like the new chapter? It's a bit longer then the others (that's why it took longer to write). Please review and tell me what you think! I love you all!  
  
silverXserpent**  
  
_  
  
_


	5. To Understand Once Again

**Title: **The Amourette

**Author: **silverXserpent

**Rating: **R

**Disclaimer: **Characters familiar to you belong to JK. Rowling. No money is being made from this story in any way.

_**To My Dedicated Reviewers!**_

**chayenne**

Thanks for taking the time to read both stories! It's such an honor. And thank you for your wonderful review. I'd also like to thank you for your constructive comment. I'm aware that I didn't make things clear about that and am thinking that perhaps I should have expanded on that part of the chapter. The reason Harry invited Draco was because he didn't think it would be wise to leave Draco alone in the house. It would be too dangerous, therefore Harry was left with no other choice. Anyways, I hope you like this new chapter! xoxo

**dracopotterkisser**

I like that . Go Harry Draco smut! lol. Anyways, thank you soooooo much for reading my story so many times! I'll do anything to keep you happy and so I hope you like this new chapter. Hugs to you!

**Soft Willow**

Thank thank thank you! hehe. The Draco, Harry, and Alex triangle is going to be so full of tension! It's awesome. I'm a writer that loves jealousy and what-not. Thanks for the review!

**Anime101**

... or else? (dun dun dun). Well, here it is! The new chapter. I hope you like it! xoxo

**Smoocher of Evil**

Wow! Loved your review! My stories have never been called 'tight' but that just plain flatters me! Thanks so much for reading it!

**daringtobeme**

Woot! Woot! Your reviews are so fun! I'm 'on the edge of my seat' just reading them. :) Thanks so much for your wonderful reviews and I really hope you like this new chapter!

**sexy-shannon**

I'm glad to hear that you're waiting to read the next chapter, which I'm presenting now. Thanks so much for your reviews! Hugs to ya!

**potterluvva**

(Grins madly) You just made my day with that last part of the review:) So sweet. Yeah, Alex and Harry aren't dating, although you'll soon learn that Alex actually _wants_ to but Harry _doesn't_ want to. (sigh) So difficult. Thanks for the reviews. Luv ya.

**remusandsiriusffe**

AWWWW. I really don't deserve all that praise! You're so kind it's making me cry. Reviews like that just fire up my want to write greater chapters! Thank you so much! xoxoxoxo

**Kat Davi**

No! It's never pointless to hear how much you enjoyed my story! I'm so incredibly honored! Thank you a ton for reading on. I hope you like the new chapter!

**Lady Ana**

Draco's gonna be here for a while, yep! This is going to get hella exciting. Thanks so much for all your reviews. I'm lovin you too! hehe=)

**Mrs. Fawkes**

Thanks for your really helpful review. It really helps in building the emotions around Draco and Harry for me:) I can't say how it'll turn out between the love triangle but it'll definately be exciting, I can tell you that. I hope you like the new chapter!

**marie falcon**

Don't worry! The fluff will be coming soon. Yes, eight years IS a long time, but it was just enough time to let Harry sort of forget about his past and everything else. He had to have those long years to build a new life, ya know? There are mixed reviews with some people saying that Harry's a wimp and that he doesn't deserve Draco, and then some like you who feel sorry for Harry because Draco just left him and broke his heart. Can't wait to see how you feel after the next few chaps!

**driven to insanity**

Your name always gives me tingles when I see it. It's very cool sounding. =) The slash and smut will be coming soon! Do not worry! I mean, what is a good slash H/D story without the heat right? I don't think I'd live. I've got a pretty good description of the outfits everyone's wearing in this chap. And thanks for your reviews! love ya!

**Angel Lain**

Harry is torn, yes. Who wouldn't be, right? I'm happy that my writing was understandable enough to get Harry's emotions across. Thanks for your sweet review. I really hope you like the new chap:) hugs!

**SilverDragon161**

Ah yes! I know you from foreverfandom! I'm glad that you found the story over on too! I'm probably more consistant over here because this site is a bit easier to use. Anyways! Thanks so much for keeping up with my story! Gotta love you for that. And also thanks for your reviews too! xoxo

**leftoversushi**

Well, you ARE a wonderful reviewer! And I hope if you cry, it'll be from the emotion in the story instead of my lack of updating (which will never happen, because I can't stand it if I can't update at least once or twice a week!). Thanks so much for the reviews. Love ya!

**Pila1414**

Eeek! My prized reviewer! How are you doing? Wut's up. :) I'm really glad you like the story! I love all the wonderful praise although I don't deserve half of it! You're too sweet! Really! Look at how excited I am just because of your review, I'm only using exclamation marks! I hope you like this chapter too! xoxoxoxo

_Are those your eyes?_

_Is that your smile?_

_I've been looking at you forever_

_Yet I never saw you before..._

**[Chapter Five] **To Understand Once Again

They were sitting on the sofa, watching TV. Harry, leaning as close as he could toward the armrest, without making it look too awkward. Draco was seated on the other end, with his hands in his lap and his eyes on the screen, but unfocused, as if he was preoccupied with thoughts. Harry wasn't really paying attention to the TV either. He had to strain all his concentration to keep his own eyes from flickering toward his left at the silent blonde.

Numerous times, he'd considered getting up and going to the bathroom to take the breath he'd been nervously holding ever since Draco had taken his seat on the sofa. He felt uncomfortably suffocated and hot, even though the air in the room was quite cool, but for some reason, his legs wouldn't obey his commands and they remained stiff and folded beneath his body.

TV had been the only thing he'd been able to think of that could make the silence between them less rigid, but he knew that it could not be a permanent substitution for conversation forever. He'd have to eventually figure out other things to do soon.

He assumed that Draco wasn't interested in watching TV because there was no such thing in the Wizarding world, but Draco was not complaining and so he hoped that it would work a while longer.

At that moment, Draco stood up and looked at him tentatively.

Harry's body stiffened even more and he glued his eyes to the newscaster currently reporting.

"Um- can I use the loo for a sec?" Draco asked calmly.

Harry jerked his head vertically and waited for Draco to disappear from the room.

When he was alone, he finally let out a deep burst of air from his tight lungs and closed his eyes.

_Why am I acting like this? _He thought miserably. _You're acting like an idiot. Obviously he's not affected in anyway... why should you be? Are you really so weak?_

"No." he said to himself defiantly. "I'm not weak. Fuck this."

He switched off the TV moodily and stood up, deciding that he'd had enough of the pathetic brooding. He had a job, and he wasn't going to give up.

_We'll go out. We'll get out of this damned flat and we'll talk._

He quickly went to his room and changed into a pair of loose sweats and a navy pullover. He jammed a baseball cap onto his flyaway hair and returned to the living room without consulting the mirror.

Draco was leaning against the back of the sofa and when Harry came in, his brow furrowed slightly.

Harry forced himself to look at Draco and he said a little more edgily then he intended,

"We're going out."

Draco unfolded his arms and stood up straighter.

"Okay, where?"

"The Park."

Draco just nodded once and took a step toward the bedroom door but halted.

Harry, confused, gave Draco a curious look before Draco waved his hand to where Harry stood.

Harry glanced behind him and felt an embarrassed flush heating his cheeks for the second time that day, upon noticing that he had been blocking the entrance to the bedroom.

"Oh sorry." he mumbled, stepping aside. Draco went past Harry and through the now cleared doorway, leaving Harry feeling even more stupid then before.

He'd never been the smooth guy that managed to make even the smallest things cool and composed, but he'd never thought himself to be clumsy, and he hated how each time he attempted to do anything in front of Draco, that side of him seemed to conquer his body. Nothing he'd done so far was satisfactory and it was frustrating him immensely. He didn't want to come off as the vulnerable and naive boy that had been his past. That would be like feeding a starving dog a gourmet feast. He'd be open prey for the enemy.

He waited impatiently for Draco, checking his watch now and then, surprised at how little time had actually past.

It was five minutes later that Draco finally emerged from the bedroom wearing black sports pants and a matching zip-up jumper. He also had a cap on and in his hands were a pair of sporty sunglasses.

"I'm ready." Draco said with a small smile.

Harry, mouth twitching, nodded curtly and grabbed his mobile and house keys and stuffed them into his pocket, while slipping his trainers on. Draco followed suit and they were soon exiting the flat and clambering down three flights of steps and into the bright afternoon sunlight.

Draco was putting on his sunglasses and his head was turned expectantly in Harry's direction.

"It's close. Do you wanna jog there?" Harry asked pointing his hand in the general direction of the park.

"Sure." Draco said, shrugging.

Harry set off at a steady pace up the street, hearing Draco's almost soundless footsteps running a step behind him.

There wasn't a word exchanged between them the whole way there and for the first time since Draco's arrival, Harry felt calmness spread through his body. The rhythmic pounding of his own feet against the cement and his calculated breathing took the nervousness and tension he'd been feeling, away. The rest of the jog, he was able to keep his mind on just the street ahead of him. A faint sweat from the inclining slope moisted his brow.

When they got to the park, they ran a lap around the track in the middle of the large field before slumping down onto the grass by the pond where there were people rowing boats and older men fishing.

Harry lay flat on his back, inhaling and exhaling a bit heavily from the twenty-minute jog. The cool breeze on his face felt extremely refreshing and shading his eyes, he cracked open a eye and snuck a glance at Draco.

Draco was sitting with his feet stretched out in front of him, and his arms propped up behind him. His cheeks were faintly flushed and his lips parted, a serene expression in his silver eyes as he gazed out over the water.

He seemed to have felt Harry looking at him and he turned his head. Harry couldn't see through the other man's sunglasses but he could sense their eyes meet and for a moment, neither broke the connection.

Harry finally cleared his throat and looked away, licking his parched lips. He forgot all together, why they had come to the park in the first place.

_Oh right._ _We're going to talk._ Harry thought to himself warily. _But about what?_

"So..." he said, trying to think of something slightly intelligent to start a conversation. "You get out into the muggle world much?"

"I don't know... not much I guess." Draco replied thoughtfully. "I haven't been out much in general really."

"Same." Harry said. "Only on the weekends when I go out with my friends or to go running occasionally."

Draco picked absentmindedly at the daisies in the grass.

"Well, it's kinda been difficult for the both of us."

"Hmm." was Harry's reply. That was the kind of comment that he had to be careful of. It could reveal too much about his personal life.

"So how have you been? You know... since the War?"

Harry involuntarily flinched and grasped the grass beside him.

"I-I've been okay." he said slowly. "I've managed to forget about most of... of it."

Draco, his eyes still fixed on the pond, nodded. "That's good to hear."

"What about you?"

Draco shrugged. "Not too bad. I've tried forgetting about it too... Still keeping touch with Hermione and Wea- Ron... ald?"

"Uh, sort of." said Harry. "They call me sometimes but since they got

married, we haven't seen each other as much."

Draco raised an eyebrow with a seemingly surprised look.

"They got married?"

"Yeah. They have their bickers but they're really happy together."

_What am I doing? I'm telling him about my best friends! I could be putting them in danger. _Harry sat up and crossed his legs. _I need to change the direction of this conversation to something less dangerous._

"So what do you like to do now? Like in your freetime?"

A pondering frown curved on Draco's lips and he pulled another flower out of the dirt.

"Merlin knows I've had plenty of free time but I mostly just spend it reading and sketching. I used to suck at art but I found that it's quite interesting and time consuming."

Harry's eyes widened. "That's cool. What do you draw?"

"Animals, people, a bunch of stuff." the blonde said offhandedly. "Do you have any pastimes?"

Harry shook his head and smiled shamefully. "I don't even dance at the clubs my friends and I go to. I have no particular talent in anything."

"Of course you do. You were an unbeatable seeker and flier." Draco offered. "And you were one of the sneakiest, rule-breaking students when you were younger."

Harry laughed. "Yes, but that was all before. now I'm just a boring bloke that sits around on his lazy arse all day watching telly. Quite pathetic, I know."

"Better than me." Draco grinned. "I just sit around. I don't even watch telly."

"Well duh, I'd be surprised if you even had a TV in your house."

Draco smirked. "And a good thing at that."

"True, telly just eats your brain out. It's unhealthy."

They shared a glance for a second before both broke into snickers.

"Talk about pathetic, this is a pathetic topic of conversation." Harry said, sighing after his laughter died out. "You wanna take a walk around the park?"

"Yeah, let's do that. I think the murky pond water is driving me a little insane." Draco hopped up gracefully off the ground and brushed his spotless pants off. "Oh um... here."

Harry glanced down at Draco's extended hand confusedly. He was holding an intricately woven ring of daises that Harry had not noticed at all during their talk. He'd obviously been too busy keeping his gaze away from him to see what Draco had been actually doing with his hands the whole time.

"Oh... uh- thanks." Harry stammered, taking the daisies. "Wow, I didn't know you were good at this stuff."

Draco snorted. "It's hardly anything you'd call 'good', but your welcome. Put it on your head."

Harry wrinkled his nose in distaste. "No way! That would look so-" he stopped himself before he said _gay._ "-dumb."

"Fine, wear it around your neck then. Whatever."

Harry mumbled grumpily and reluctantly slipped it over his head.

"Beautiful." Draco said, imitating a picky fashion stylist. "Simply marvelous."

Harry rolled his eyes and threw Draco an exasperated look before making his way toward the gravel path.

They walked in comfortable silence for a while, appreciating the beauty of the scenery surrounding them and the fluttery chirping of the small birds over their heads.

"You live in a nice neighborhood." Draco said decisively after they'd nearly walked half the perimeter of the park. "It's pretty and quiet."

"Yeah, it's nice. I couldn't imagine living anywhere else." Harry kicked a small rock and watched it tumble down the sloping path. "Did you not like your area?"

"No, it was okay, but not as nice as here. It was kind of separated from everything around it though. There weren't any houses nearby, just heaps of trees. A bit depressing really."

Harry smiled sympathetically. "That must've sucked."

"I got used to it. I stayed indoors ninety percent of the time anyways. Do any of your friends live near you?"

"Within driving distance, yeah. We all met at the same club which isn't too far off from my neighborhood."

"That's cool."

"Yeah..." Harry had the urge to ask if he had any friends himself but decided against it. Instead, he looked at his watch and was quite surprised at the time. "Wow, we've been here for three hours already. We should head back."

The sun was already beginning to set and the sky was tinted a soft shade of orange which blended so breathtakingly with the clear blue, signifying the end of a beautiful day. Harry and Draco walked side by side down the sloping pavement back to Harry's flat; neither uttering a word but drinking in the appreciative silence and the glowing hue of the sunset on the horizon ahead. A small and cold breeze was picking up at their heels, and the air was turning icier, as if reminding them that it was still February, even though the sight of the sun made it seem like spring.

When they reached the apartment, they kicked off their slightly worn trainers and waited eagerly for the warmth of the heater to seep into their layers of clothing. Harry got a glass of water for both of them and they stood next to the heater, moistening their parched throats and feeling somewhat content despite the coldness.

Harry set his glass down on the dining room table and shrugged off his thick pullover and cap and tossed them onto the sofa like he did with all his discarded outerwear. He retrieved a slip of paper with numerous phone numbers on it and for the first time since the park, chanced a look at Draco.

Draco had finished his water and was sitting on the carpet, crosslegged. He had taken off his cap and sunglasses, but was still wearing the black jumper even though the room had warmed up considerably.

The clock's blinking digits told Harry that they had a good hour and a half until they had to be at the club, which gave them plenty of time to eat, change and drive there. He caught Draco's eye and motioned toward the paper he held in his hands.

"Hungry for anything in particular? I can have either French, Chinese, Japanese, or Italian delivered."

Draco looked thoughtful for a moment and then shrugged.

"I'm good with anything. You decide."

Harry, frowning, consulted the list of restaurants again. He was never that much of a decisive person. Especially when it came to picking things for other people.

He finally concluded after a minutes worth of contemplating, that Italian was the safest and so rung up the number of the Italian restaurant on his mobile. It was the same cuisine that Alex worked as a waiter at and he absolutely loved their food.

When the call ended and he put away the phone and the list, he went back to the living room. Now there was only the food to wait for and it wouldn't be coming for a good twenty or so minutes. The restaurant was close but since it was far from being the fast food, the careful and precise cooking took a while.

He realised that he wanted to take a shower, but knowing Draco, the blonde would be even more desperate for a good wash from the day's sweat, and so offered him the bathroom first.

When he'd mentioned the words, 'shower' and 'go ahead', Draco's face had lit up with relief, and spilling a quick 'thanks', disappeared into the bathroom like lightning. Harry suppressed a small smile and flopped down onto the sofa, pushing the jacket onto the floor by his feet.

He'd forgotten how long the ex-Slytherin took when it came to showers, and thought with humored regretfulness that he hadn't just hopped in first, for his own cleansing only lasted for ten minutes at the longest. Just as he heard the water being turned off and the sound of the shower curtains being pulled away, the doorbell rang. Rolling his eyes, he rushed to answer the door.

The delivery man, a refined and pleasant looking bloke in his mid forties, knew Harry well and grinned when Harry appeared.

"Good evening Mr. Evans. I'm here with your order."

Harry smiled back. "Great. How's everything down at Marcello's?"

"Considerably well. Here you go-" he handed Harry a huge wooden box with the elegant inscription 'Marcello's' printed onto the top and watched nervously as Harry teetered slightly under the weight. "Dining with someone tonight?"

Harry blushed and nodded. "Uh- yeah. Sort of."

The man winked and then inclined his head in a low bow.

"Well, have a wonderful evening Mr. Evans. We always take pride in serving you as our customer."

"Thanks again. Good night." he kicked the door shut with his foot when the delivery man had left, and tried to back up but bumped into something blocking his path in the middle of the hallway.

He nearly dropped the food and yelped.

"Oh fuck, sorry-"

"D-Draco?"

"Do you need help?"

"No- I'm fine." he huffed, as Draco moved hastily and Harry was able to make his way through the living room and into the dining room. He set the box cautiously onto the table and then exhaling and shaking out his arms, turned around to where Draco was standing.

His hand that was propped against the back of the chair slipped and he gaped.

Draco must have realised that Harry was looking at him incredulously and a slight smirk flickering on his face, he gestured toward the delivery box.

"I heard the doorbell and came out quickly to see if you needed help. Didn't have time to dress."

Harry pursed his lips and crossed his arms nervously, his heart doing nervous flip-flops at the sight of a half naked Draco who had only a single bath towel draped loosely around his hip bones.

"I'll go get something on." Draco said lightly and retreated into the bedroom.

Harry shook his head violently and closed his eyes, trying to rid his mind of the slim and pearly white skin stretched taut over a smooth chest and perfect collar bones. But the image seemed imbedded permanently in his eyes and he felt like dunking his own head in ice water.

_You did NOT just react to that._ He pleaded to himself desperately. _You did NOT just stand gaping like an idiot. Draco did NOT see you make a fool of yourself._

Cursing under his breath, he yanked the lid off the box and from within, took out two dishes of pasta, and a bottle of wine.

He found a set of utensils for two and almost had the urge to stab himself with one of the forks before deciding against it and went to the kitchen for wine glasses.

When Draco returned, he was adorning his outfit for the night already and it only made Harry want to murder himself even more. The rich and aromic calbonara which usually made his stomach growl in hunger, hardly looked appetizing any longer. Although it was a slight improvement compared to the over exposure of skin from a few minutes ago, it was hardly ugly enough to keep Harry from staring. He doubted that the blonde man was ever 'ugly enough'.

He had on a pair of loose, very low riding dark gray slacks and a silk black shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a few buttons undone on his chest. A simple silver bracelet and twin necklace accented his pale skin and added a glow to the silver in his eyes. It was all surprisingly conservative, yet extremely paralysing to see.

Harry, shifting his body casually so that he'd somehow be able to cover up for his moment of shock, fixed his eyes away from Draco's face and pointed at the open chair across the table.

Draco licked his lips and nodded toward the food.

"Looks really good."

Harry forced a smile and uncorked the wine bottle, sending the cork ricocheting off the walls dangerously.

Draco raised an eyebrow and Harry felt his face redden in embarrassment. He pasted on a 'I meant to do that' look and proceeded to fill their glasses with the ruby red liquid.

He picked up his own glass and noticed that Draco had his held up toward Harry. He winked and flicking his wrist ever so slightly, then brought the glass to his lips and took a dainty sip.

Harry repeated the classy cheer, but without the wink and with half the spaz and took a deep gulp himself. He dug into the creamy pasta without really tasting it and chewed and sipped in complete silence. Draco didn't talk either, but Harry could feel the intense silver gaze and it was all he could do to keep his fork from shaking. The more he upheld the silence, the more uncomfortable he felt and the more self conscious he became.

It was an utter mystery how in the world he had managed to stay cool throughout the trip to the park. Now, it seemed almost ridiculously impossible. He stopped eating and lowered his fork slowly, knowing that it was useless to try and act like he was enjoying the meal when really, he tasted only the bitterness of humiliation and excused himself quietly from the table.

He retreated to his bedroom, ignoring Draco's curious look and shut the door. He leaned against it wearily and sighed inaudibly.

_This is all wrong. _He thought to himself. _This is not how it's supposed to be happening. I should've just stuck to my refusal after that phone call with Hermione. _But it was too late now. He only had two choices and it was either to muster up the guts to spit in Draco's face and call Pat, or continue on with this mission even if it ended up destroying him completely. Both options seemed unfavorable but with this bugaboo, there were no in-betweens and no running out on himself. He either had to take it, or leave it. The thing about Harry that some might find admirable, yet he loathed, was the fact that his personality allowed him no freedom to give up or let go. Perfectionism was the term the rest of the world seemed to use for cases like his and at certain times, especially like that of now, instead of trying to rid himself of the weighing responsibility of cracking the hard shell of the enemy, it drove him to want to cross the victory line with a huge lead. He couldn't feel satisfied until he was able tell himself that he'd won. That he'd claimed the big 'V'.

What was there to win? There were countless things that Harry yearned for. Honor, respect, to sustain his title as 'Top Auror' in the ministry... the list was endless. Nothing in this list though, included the name _Draco Malfoy_, and he never wanted to be more sure about that in his short life span of 25 years. Even when they were the most despising rivals in school... Harry gritted his teeth at the memory of Hogwarts. Even though it was so long ago, a part of him sensed it like it was yesterday that he'd last packed his trunk to take off to his sixth year, not aware that it'd be his final year as well. And the War... and the deaths... and Draco...

_No, no, NO! _He screamed in silent anger. _DON'T remember that... you promised yourself... it's history..._

When his breathing had calmed once more, he stepped forward to advance to his wardrobe but at the same moment, the door inches behind his back opened and hit him on the shoulder.

He winced and found himself face to face with Draco when he made an about turn toward the affronting door.

"I was worried... you looked really sick or something. Are you okay?" Draco asked with a concerned expression that just sent Harry's mind whirling off into Neverland.

He nodded constrainedly and clasped his fumbling hands in front of him.

Draco continued to stand in the doorway until he frowned and waved his hand towards the wardrobe.

"You decided what you're going to wear?"

Harry shook his head and began edging in the direction of the wardrobe, hoping that Draco would take this as a sign to leave, but the blonde remained oblivious to Harry's weak and invisible praying. Harry opened the wooden closet furniture and slowly flipped through the hanging clothing inside.

When he felt Draco come up beside him, his heart began to thump wildly and he almost sent a frantic glare at him. Draco seemed to have not an inkling of an idea, how stressed Harry was feeling. Or perhaps even if he _did_ know, he wasn't showing it in any of his body language or facial expressions.

Harry's arm froze when Draco lifted his own hand and fingered the sleeve of a familiar looking dark green shirt.

"What about this?" he said, pulling it gently off of the hanger. "Love the color."

"No." Harry shot back quickly, recognising the shirt instantly and thinking that things had just gotten worse when he thought it couldn't get any worse. "Definitely not that." It was the same skin tight shirt that Alex had discovered the the day before yesterday from the bottom of the heap in Harry's closet. He'd hung it up in his wardrobe just because there was nowhere else to put it, but he knew now, that that had been a mistake.

Draco held the cotton shirt out to Harry.

"Why? It'll look really good with a pair of arse-hugging jeans, which you seem to have a plentiful number of."

Harry shook his head stubbornly and tried to shove it away, but Draco clung onto it with his slender fingers and smiling, tossed it at Harry's head and Harry instinctively caught it.

"But it's too small." he complained glancing down at the shirt. "It's not-"

"Small is good." Draco cut in firmly, not knowing that he and Alex seemed to share similar opinions.

Next came a pair of dark, stone washed jeans and a leather belt. Harry held the lot in his hands but stood rooted to the spot, unsure if Draco was finally going to leave him to change or if he'd have to go to the bathroom for that. Surely, the blonde didn't expect him to undress right.... here?

"Uh-" Harry stammered, backing up slowly. "Be right back."

Once in the bathroom, he heaved a sigh of relief and looked at his face in the mirror. Although the bathroom lighting was dim, his bright green and nervous looking eyes were flickering back at him and he unconsciously ran a finger over the place on his forehead where his lightning bolt disfigurement once was. It was still there, but hidden by a concealment charm so that no one could recognise him by the scar itself. He no longer wore glasses either, since they just made things troublesome with a job as an Auror.

He'd never liked his appearance. Ever since he was little, whenever he saw himself in the mirror, all he'd see was a odd looking boy with uncontrollable hair and knobbly knees. All his years at Hogwarts, as a Quidditch player, he'd wished for a body like Oliver Wood, the burly Captain that he'd looked up to with great respect. Yes, his body had matured and grown since then and the workouts he did gave him a tight stomach and firm arms, but he was still slightly on the thin side and nothing like the bulky muscleage of Wood. He scowled at his reflection and defeatedly pulled the soft material of the shirt over his head. It was so light and clingy that he hardly felt it, and that was one of the reasons why he disliked the shirt. It made him feel as if he wasn't wearing anything on his upper torso.

He didn't like being in-between. If he was not going to be mister muscle man, he at least wanted a body like Draco's, who hardly had any muscle, yet looked completely natural and god-made.

_What am I thinking? I'm so fucking retarded. _He gave his own cheek a sharp slap and then went on attempting to fix his hair. With a little bit of mousse, he managed to twist and tug the strands so that they looked somewhat less crazy and more as if the messiness was intentional. It was as good as he was going to get.

"Ready to go?" he asked when he exited the bathroom and found Draco waiting for him in the hall. Draco's lip twitched and his eyes raked over Harry's body. Harry hoped that the expression on his face wasn't a disapproving one at the least.

"You look great." Draco commented after a careful examination. "You'll turn heads."

Harry forced a monotone laugh and got his leather jacket from the coat hook in the hallway. Draco was putting on a long white suede trenchcoat and a pair of black leather boots.

How typical. Harry thought with an obscure smile.

He grabbed his car keys, his house keys, his phone, and his wallet and stepped out into the hallway followed closely by Draco. The air was very cold now, and their breaths came out in white puffs. Harry led the other man to his BMW parked in the gutter and were not too happy when their butt's made contact with the frozen leather seats of the car.

The frigid coldness gave them an excuse not to talk and so they drove wordlessly the whole ten minutes, until they reached the back car park of the large club. Already, an enormous line was bunched up from the door of the club to the street corner and the anxious people waiting in line were jogging up and down to stay warm. Harry heard Draco groan at the long line and he retrieved his wallet from his back pocket.

"Where are you going?" Draco asked, surprised when Harry began walking toward not to the back of the line but straight to the man guarding the doors.

"The front of the line." Harry replied.

"Why?"

"Because-" he slipped a gold card from the card holder. "I have this."

Draco furrowed his brows for a split second before his eyes grew wide and a grin spread on his face.

"VIP huh?"

"Yep."

"Excellent."

"Your welcome."

Harry approached the door man and showed him the card.

"Hey Ted."

"Hey Harry! Been wondrin' where you was." the man exclaimed, seeing Harry.

Harry shrugged good-naturedly. "Well, I'm here."

Ted eyed Draco interestedly and then flashed a wink at Harry.

"Boyfriend?"

Harry's face blanched and for some reason, Ted's face became uneasy.

He leaned toward Harry and hissed, "Just say he is, or I won't be able to let you two in. It's couple day."

"Wha-? No one told me-"

"You're a good friend Har, I don't wanna refuse to let 'ya in but it's strictly the rules and the people behind 'ya won't be too happy if I make an acceptance."

"But-"

"Yes, of course we're together." Draco's drawled a bit loudly behind him.

Harry whirled around and stared at Draco, who had a smirk on his face as if saying 'duh, what do you think?' and winding his arm around Harry's, he steered them past Ted and in through the doors of the club.

The minute they'd stepped inside, a blasting noise of deep base and high-pitched music pounded into their eardrums. Harry could feel it vibrating in his bones.

The club was very busy, the dance floor was full of pink-faced dancers and the colorful strobe lights swung over the crazed and energetic crowd wildly, giving an exotic and quite erotic air to the whole booming room.

"How do you intend to find you friends in this?" Draco screamed over the impossible noise. There wasn't a hint of awkwardness in his voice from the scene outside. He'd let go of Harry's arm immediately and was now standing a few steps away, as if nothing had happened.

Harry could still feel the pressure on his forearm where Draco's light grip had been and blinked.

"Uh- they're..." Harry tried but the music was too loud and he didn't feel like shouting. He beckoned for Draco to follow him instead and pushed his way through the rough crowd with difficulty. It took them nearly five minutes to stumble through and over to the bar on the other side of the club. At the far end, Harry spotted his friends were searching over the heads of the throng, obviously for Harry.

Harry waved and hurried over. Alex was the first to see him and his face split into a wide grin, but faltered when he caught sight of Draco who was walking right behind Harry.

"Hey guys, sorry for the hold up." Harry said smiling apologetically.

"Hey Harry!" one of his friends named Jeremy, greeted him. He was a short and very thin guy who's appearance screamed, _'I'm gay!'_ in every possible way. He was wearing a bright pink wife-beater that read 'Fuck Me Bitch!" and unbelievably tight leather pants. His hair was short and spiked and dyed lime green.

Next to him on his left was a cool-looking, slightly sulky guy with dark skin and hair, named Gabe. Gabe wore all black, with silver studs and two inch spikes protruding from his leather choker and matching arm cuffs. Piercings were numerous; on his ears, nose, lip and navel, which was visible beneath the hem of his very short and see-through shirt.

And last but not least, was Alex, the most normal looking of the three, not to mention tallest and most toned, with his chin length, floppy chocolate mane falling casually around his well defined face, and adorning form fitting khakis and an ocean blue sleeveless tee, matched with black striped Adidas. A single silver hoop hung from his right ear.

He embraced each of them in turn and motioned toward Draco, who all were looking at with interest.

"Uh guys- this a... a friend of mine. His name is..."

_Oh shit! _Harry panicked. _We didn't decide on a name!_

"His name is uh.. uh-"

"-Devin." Draco said over Harry's shoulder.

Jeremy extended his hand with a warm smile and Harry felt a heavy weight lifting off his conscience.

"Devin. I'm Jeremy, the most eccentric of this group. Nice to meet you." Harry watched as the two shook hands. "And this is Gabe, he's not good with introductions, but once you get to know him, he's not bad."

Gabe scowled but reached out to take Draco's hand too.

"Hey." Draco said, nodding to both.

"I'm Alex." Alex said, repeating the gesture with their hands but pulling away more quickly than the other two. His eyes met Harry's for a split second and he raised his eyebrows.

"So why haven't we seen you here before Devin?" Jeremy asked coyly. "And Harry, why haven't you told us about such a hot friend?"

Harry felt his face flush terribly and for a moment, he truly understood what it meant to feel like 'a deer caught in the headlights'.

"He er- doesn't live... near here." he said after a pause.

"That's a shame." Jeremy said sadly. "I was hopeful for a bit there."

"Let's get drinks." Harry cut in before anyone could ask anymore awkward questions. "What do you guys want?"

"Make mine a straight." Jeremy said enthusiastically.

Gabe snorted. "How fitting. I'll take the same thing."

"Hypocrite."

"Vodka-and-Coke," Alex said. "as always."

"And you Devin?" Jeremy asked.

"Same."

Harry nodded and flicked the drinks on his fingers, repeating them again. "Right, I'll be right back."

Alex stood up from his stool and made to go after Harry. "I'll go with you."

The two pushed their way to the bar counter and beckoned for the bartender to come and collect their orders. Harry scrunched up his face to try to remember how many of each it was and Alex glanced back at the the table where the rest were sitting.

"Uh- it was two straights and three cokes... right?" he confirmed out loud to Alex who nodded and grinned. Harry shouted the order to the man behind the counter squirmed in surprise when he felt a warm body being pressed against his back and a pair of strong arms encircling his hips.

"I missed you." he heard Alex say in that melty voice of his as the brunette nuzzled his nose into the back of Harry's head. "And you wore that shirt tonight... love it."

Harry playfully reached out to pinch Alex's leg and Alex let out a yelp and let go of Harry.

"You love doing that don't you?" Alex scolded in mock anger. "You're a naughty boy who owes me the first dance after we get those wankers their drinks."

Harry laughed and shook his finger in front of Alex's face with a no-can-do expression.

"You know I don't dance."

"Oh but you will."

"Oh but I won't."

"Oh yes you will."

Harry raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms on his chest as if to challenge the other man.

"And pray tell me, _why _you're so sure of yourself?"

Alex's lips twisted into what he obviously meant to be a smirk but instead, it just turned up into a terribly lopsided grin that made Harry' eye twitch with adoration. He pursed his lips to stop the laughter from coming yet again, but it was useless. He burst out giggling and wiped his eyes, before looking up to see the hurt look that Alex had.

"You are just incredible. You know that Alex?" Alex's face lit up hopefully. "I can't believe you manage to convince me without words."

"So you'll honor me with the first dance?"

"Do I have a choice?"

A coy gleam appeared in Alex's eye and he ruffled Harry's hair airily. "Well, no. You don't, darling."

"Two Vodkas and three Vodka-and-Cokes!" The bartender called out, sliding them the plastic cups across the smooth surface.

"Thanks!" Harry yelled and he attempted to pick up three but Alex's considerably larger hand grabbed the third one before Harry sloshed it all over the floor.

"I think I'll get that one." Alex said sweetly and winking. Harry stuck out his tongue and turning around, made his way back to the rest of the group.

"They're back!" Jeremy beamed.

Harry peered into the cups and sniffed them before setting both down onto the table with a flourish.

"The straights-"

"And the sane people!" Alex finished handing Harry and Draco their drinks.

Gabe scowled and Jeremy rolled his eyes.

"Anyways," Jeremy said slowly and loudly, "Here's to our new friend Devin and to another wild night of drunk partying!"

"Cheers!" They all chorused and downed half of their drink in one gulp.

Alex slammed down his cup and punched his fist in the air. With a whoop, he entwined his fingers with Harry's and began leading him towards the dance floor, shaking his hips back and forth seductively.

Harry blushed and let himself be dragged onward, receiving a catcall from Jeremy and Gabe. As he passed Draco, their eyes met for a split second and Harry could have sworn that the silver orbs narrowed just a tiny bit, before the crowd of dancing people blocked his view and he was swallowed into the heat of the dancing bodies.

Alex placed his hands on Harry's hips and closed the distance between them, grinding his own hips against Harry's front.

Harry, although claiming to everyone that he was not a dancer, was actually, very talented when it came to showing his moves on the dance floor. He attracted much attention, which was one of the reasons why he tried to stay away from being beneath the bright strobe lights. But tonight, he was letting himself loose after years of locking himself up. He was going forget all the stress he'd been stacking within him and he was going to simply enjoy the few hours of mindless raucousing.

Alex was looking pleasantly surprised at Harry's sudden forwardness, and he pulled the raven haired man closer; so close that they were now nose to nose, chest to chest, groin to groin. Harry smiled coyly and did a few impressive moves with his hips that made the guys dancing a few inches away from him stare and lick their lips.

"Wow." breathed Alex breathlessly. "You never told me you had a knack for these things."

Harry ran his hands along Alex's buff chest and twirled around once so that now his back was facing Alex.

"There's a lot of things I've never told you." he replied.

"Mmmm. There's nothing more sexy than a mystery man." Alex ran his fingers down Harry's legs and nibbled his ear affectionately. "So tell me, Harry. How do you know Devin?"

Harry flinched and felt himself grip the nape of Alex's neck tightly.

"A friend from school." he said hastily, not caring if Alex didn't hear it.

But Alex seemed to have the ears of an animal, for his hands tightened around Harry's waist too.

"A friend from school? That's cool. I didn't know blondes were your type."

Harry turned around again and pecked Alex's lips with a grin. "You're jealous aren't you?"

"Who me?" Alex asked in a disbelieving tone. "Well, maybe a itty-bitty-teeny-tiny bit. But should I have to be jealous?"

"No." Harry whispered. "No, you don't have to."

"Good. Cuz I'm pretty fond of you Evans. It'd be like losing an only son."

Harry grimaced with disgust. "Like losing an only son?"

"Well what am I supposed to say?" Alex asked laughing.

Harry shrugged, enjoying the humor of the situation. Obviously, Alex had wanted to say something along the lines of 'losing a love', but since Harry and he were neither lovers or boyfriends for that matter, he couldn't. A part of him felt bad for denying Alex the affection he deserved, but a part of him was happy with the relationship they had now. They could touch, kiss, snog, if they wanted to, yet they didn't have to commit themselves to love and Harry found it easier to deal with. And the fact that Alex never complained was why their odd friendship lasted so long between them. Perhaps Alex wanted to take it a step further but Harry didn't think he was ready at all for that yet. Maybe he would never be ready for it. His past had taught him a valuable lesson.

He let his eyes roam over the heads of the dancing throng and found Jeremy, Gabe, and Draco talking with their heads bent together. It was a sight that Harry wasn't expecting to see. He could tell that Jeremy was doing most of the talking, but he had a sad look on his face. Harry's eyes flickered over to Draco and watched intently as Draco's lips pursed into a thin line and his hands fiddling under the table as if he was nervous about something. Gabe's eyes were fixed on Draco too, his expression deep and unreadable.

He had a strong urge to go over and find out what they were talking about but stopped himself just in time. He shook his head and turned back to look at Alex who was gazing at him longingly, as if he wanted to kiss him.

He never saw a pair of silver eyes blink away a tear that was never meant to fall.

**From the Author:**

Hey everyone. I know that this was a HORRIBLE place to end the chapter but if I wrote the whole club scene in this one chapter, it'd be waaaaaaay too long, since it's quite long even how it is now. But don't worry, I will update soon so that you don't have to wait long to read the rest of the happenings at the club! Thanks again to those who read this chapter, and a special thanks to those who take the time to review. It really keeps me writing and updating quickly. The more reviews, the more the chapters keep coming at a good speed! Love you all.


	6. Chapter 5: Part 2

**Title: **The Amourette

**Author: **silverXserpent

**Rating: **R

**Disclaimer: **All familiar charaters belong to JK. Rowling. No money is being made from this story in any way.

**[Reviewers]**

Acknowledgements will be inserted in the next chapter as this is only the continued part 2 of chapter five! Enjoy!

**[Chapter Five: Part Two] **To Understand Once Again

When the song ended, Harry pulled away from Alex a bit hastily, even though he didn't really mean to. It was like his body was acting of it's own accord. His mind was doing all it could to focus on the brunette encircling him but the part of him that wanted to know what his other friends were talking about, unfortunately won him over. Harry quickly glanced back at Alex and saw a look of hurt flicker across his flushed face and felt incredibly guilty for not paying enough attention to him.

He tried to smile cheerfully and took Alex's warm hand in his own and nodded his head toward their table. Alex let out a sigh that Harry almost didn't catch but returned the smile and gave a gentle squeeze to Harry's hand. They made their winding way back across the dance floor together and Harry was a little disappointed when Jeremy, Gabe, and Draco abruptly halted their serious conversation when they caught sight of Harry, and broke apart.

"Hey you two lovebirds!" Jeremy grinned and winked. "Great dance out their huh?" he gave a low whistle and wiggled his eyebrows.

Harry rolled his eyes and flicked Jeremy's forehead with his fingers.

"Why don't you get out there then if you enjoyed watching us so much?"

"Well-" said Jeremy exasperatedly. "If I actually _had_ someone to hit it off with, then I would. Obviously. But _no_. I have to be the damn man-less."

Harry cast a look of mock sympathy in his direction and frowned. "I know, poor Jeremy is too sissy to ask a guy to get it on with him."

Alex snorted and Gabe smirked.

"I'm not too sissy!" Jeremy protested defiantly. "I am a MAN. Confidence and courage are my middle names!"

"I wasn't aware you could have _two_ middle names." mused Alex. "Wouldn't that make them not _middle_ anymore?"

Alex and Gabe broke into another fit of sniggers and Jeremy stood up angrily to try to prove that he was really capable of being the man that he was. Which was hardly saying anything, for Jeremy was as manly as he was straight. Harry eventually let himself fall out of the friendly feud and the voices around him slowly began to drift away. He didn't stop himself from the separation either.

Draco, he observed was sitting silent the whole while. He hadn't said a word since Harry and Alex had returned from the dance floor. His eyes were steely and illegible and they were fixed on his now empty cup that was gripped rather firmly between his long fingers. His thumb was absentmindedly running back and forth along the rim of the plastic cup as if he was busy reflecting upon something, and Harry was pretty sure that that something had to do with the conversation between Draco, Jeremy, and Gabe, a few minutes before.

Harry's heart felt a pang of sadness as he watched wordlessly and mindlessly at the pale man across from him. He didn't know what the sadness erupted from, but the expression on Draco's face was painful to look at. It was a mixture of confusion and misery. A face of his that Harry had never seen before and for the first time in eight years, he felt as if he knew that Draco was really human. That he had emotions in his mysterious heart like any other living being.

For such a long time, Harry had wanted to hate the very thought of Draco Malfoy because of what he'd done. He'd driven himself to believe that Draco simply had no heart and that his insides were filled with ice and darkness. For those who could be cruel without mercy, were those that went over to the Dark Side.

But now, he was looking at the face of one who had been through hurt and tears, devastation and unimaginable difficulties.

_How can this be true though?_ He asked himself with a shake of his head. _Draco doesn't know real pain. He doesn't know what it's like to have his heart shattered into a million pieces. _

He agreed in his own mind that it was just the alcohol that was making things appear in away that wasn't so, but it depressed him nonetheless. _Of course he wouldn't know._

_'Harry-'_

Harry furrowed his brow at the sound of his name being called faintly in the distance. All he could see was Draco's lonely face and his shimmering eyes...

'Harry?'

Those eyes...

"HARRYYYYYYYYYY!"

"WHAT?" Harry snapped suddenly, awakening unpleasantly from his dazed state.

"You looked as if you were going to fall over." Jeremy said worriedly, and Harry noticed Gabe, Jeremy, and Alex each holding him with one hand to steady him. "Are you okay? You've only had one drink."

"I'm fine." Harry mumbled.

Gabe and Jeremy let go of Harry with concerned looks. Alex's hand lingered for a few seconds more, his thumb caressing Harry's skin gently.

Harry forced a weak smile and patted Alex's hand.

"It's nothing Alex. Just a bit lightheaded from the drink."

Alex opened his mouth to say something but just then, the loud music suddenly stopped and a deafening screech of the microphone being turned on, made everyone moan and cover their ears.

They all turned to see Ted standing on the raised platform with the mic held to his grinning mouth and his hand in the air to get everyone's attention.

"Now what?" Gabe muttered irritably. Harry wondered at Gabe's tone but kept his eyes on Ted.

The colorful strobes had been turned off and instead, a single bright spot light was focused on the man atop the stage. When the club had quieted down slightly, he ran his eyes over the crowd and then spoke.

"I apologise for interrupting the dance but I assure you that this time will not be wasted. As you all know, today is _Couple Day._ And each one of you entered this club with your loved one. Therefore, I'd like to dedicate this next song to all the couples who came here tonight, meaning: stop flirting with others for just five minutes and get back together with your darling. I'm sure you'll all find out how much you really love one another." Ted stopped talking and sniffed. "Aw, look. It's making me all teary eyed!"

The crowd laughed and Ted waved his hand.

"Everyone must dance. Not only do I insist, it is also the rules for tonight."

"Hell no!" Gabe swore disbelievingly. "That asshole! He knows that we aren't-"

The lights dimmed and a slow song began to resonate through the air.

"How is that even _possible? _" Alex exclaimed. "I'm fucking not doing a threesome!"

"Oh come on you guys! Now who's being the sissies? It's just a fucking dance!" Jeremy said, throwing his hands up into the air.

Alex didn't reply but his eyes flickered over to Harry, who was standing rooted to the spot with his lips in a tight line.

"I-I'm going to sit this one out-" he began but Jeremy cut him off with a menacing glare.

"No you're not Harry Evans! If we're doing it, so are you. It's not a big deal! So what if we're not really 'couples'. Just play by the rules and play _fair._"

"That's why I didn't want to come in here tonight in the first place! I knew something bad was up." Gabe said. "I mean, the minute Jeremy told Ted that we were here as a threesome- I almost strangled him to death."

"Whatever! Let's just get off our bums and dance!" Jeremy grabbed both Alex and Gabe's arms and dragged them off with surprising strength, considering his small frame. Alex looked over his shoulder at Harry once more as Harry felt a soft touch on his hand.

He glanced down and saw Draco's hand held out to him just like when he'd given Harry the ring of daises earlier that day. Harry's heart skipped a beat as his eyes traveled up slowly until green met silver and locked for a brief moment.

"Shall we?" Draco asked softly as he took Harry's hands more surely. "We don't want to look like complete 'sissies' like Jeremy said, do we?"

Harry tried to find a reason to refuse but both his mind and mouth seemed to be tangled into a jumble. His arm remained limp by his side.

"Uh- sure..." Harry finally croaked and he tore his eyes away from Draco. He led Draco to the dance floor with a lump in his throat that was big enough to choke him completely but he cleared his throat nervously a number of times and it unclenched a might, allowing him just enough air to breath.

_What am I doing?_ He cried inwardly. _Are you serious? You're going to dance with Draco? No, you can't be serious. Turn right back around and let go of his hand._

But he found himself doing the exact opposite of his desperate commands. They were both now standing two feet apart under the soothing snow-like lights and the gentle sway of the music engulfing them. Draco's hand was still holding Harry's and his eyes were studying Harry's expression with an intensity that made it feel like a fever was rising up in the pit of his stomach. Harry was thankful when Draco made the first move. His heart began pounding furiously in his chest when Draco took a timid step forward so that they were now only a foot away.

Draco lifted their clasped hands slowly and reached out with his left hand to touch Harry's waist. Harry realised what Draco was attempting to do and blushing, he shook his head and lowered both their hands. Draco's eyebrows inclined bewilderedly, looking down. With a breath of hesitation, Harry closed his shaking hand around Draco's soft palm.

"It's not ballroom dancing...." he said in a whisper. "Muggle slow dancing- is a bit different...."

A pink tinge appeared in Draco high cheekbones and the muscles in his arms relaxed so that Harry could show him how it was supposed to be done. Harry wanted to ask if Draco had been telling the truth when he said that he'd gone to a muggle club before but now didn't seem the right time. Other than the fact that his mind felt very unintelligent, there was no one talking on the dance floor at all.

Holding both of Draco's hands in his own, he placed them on his own shoulders carefully and then closed his eyes to will himself to take the next step. Without opening his eyes, he timidly let his fingers brush Draco's hips and around to his back so that they were now in a light embrace. He began to move his feet an inch at a time, revolving in time to the slow-footed beat.

When he finally opened his eyes, he realised that their faces were close. Very very close. He let out a small quivering breath and felt himself being pulled into the deep pools of mercury which were gazing back, a small smile etched into the deeper shadows.

The rest of the club was another world from that moment on.

It didn't matter that neither could read the depth of emotion in each other's eyes. It didn't matter that their body's were feeling one another's heat for the first time in eight years. It didn't matter that up until now, they had spent every minute of their presence together in awkwardness.

The song seemed endless but that didn't matter either. All that did matter was this. This moment in time. This breath of air.

Being so drowned into his emotions that Harry had never acknowledged in his life before, he didn't know what to do. He felt suddenly overwhelmed and a heavy weight was pulling at his heart, sinking slowly and painfully. He felt as if he'd failed. As if he was useless, and unable to stand on his own feet.

He pleaded inwardly with himself to calm down but he seemed to have lost all control of his body. A single tear escaped his eye and he quickly turned his head to disguise it, but the tears kept coming. There was nothing he could do to hide them anymore.

"Harry..." he heard Draco utter almost inaudibly.

Harry felt thoroughly humiliated and ashamed of himself. He had no idea how to explain the meaning of his tears. Draco would figure it out anyhow.

Harry felt his own fingers tighten around Draco's waist and he clenched his eyes shut to stem the flow of tears trickling down his face. Draco paused before drawing Harry closer too until their bodies were actually touching and their cheeks grazing ever so slightly. The sway of Draco's smooth embrace felt like a lullaby to Harry, and he knew that his heart was feeling things that he'd denied himself ever since he and Draco had broken apart.

He almost wanted to let himself accept this aching feeling but that would be the same as surrendering and Harry didn't want to do that. In fact, it was a crazy notion that he was actually suffering. He didn't want that either.

Draco's gentle hand stroked the tender area between the base of his neck and his shoulder blades, as if telling him without words, that he understood.

Harry didn't know what exactly Draco understood, or if the simple gesture was not a gesture of understanding but that of sympathy. Sympathy for being weak and breaking down. But he wanted to think that it wasn't voluntarily done. Perhaps it was the trick of the wavering lights but he saw that Draco's eyes were glittering. As if he was holding back tears of sorrow too. He had to be imagining it.

And then, it was as if something in Harry suddenly snapped. Every doubt, every denial, every fear disappeared. He knew what he wanted. What he yearned for. It was so clear, yet he hadn't ever wanted to discover it's truth and the affect that it would have on him. But there was nothing to deny now. Why force himself back into his dark shrouds of a masked life when he could let himself go? His rational disciplines were thrown out the window along with his conscience and he stopped dancing.

Draco lifted his head and looked at him.

It was too much.

He stepped back so that he could see Draco's whole face.

He didn't hate Draco. No, he didn't loathe him like he'd driven himself to believe. It was the exact opposite. He still cared for him and it was an inevitable fact. He still felt something for the man standing in front of him. The one that had broken his heart and left it to bleed without a word of explanation.

Draco didn't say anything but just stared into Harry's eyes.

Harry felt another tear threatening behind his eyelids.

"Draco..." he breathed. His voice hitched in his throat and he hesitated. "I..... I- I..."

But at that moment, he saw Jeremy, Gabe, and Alex coming over out of the corner of his eye and he clamped his mouth shut. He dropped his hands from Draco's waist and put a space between their bodies that was far enough that they were no longer touching at all.

"Yo Har!" Jeremy said, placing a hand on Draco's shoulder. "That was one awkward dance! We had to stand in this triangle and have our arms around each other at the same time! It was kinda sexy though..."

Harry swallowed thickly and shifted his gaze to the floor. He couldn't let anyone see his face, it would give too much away.

"I'm going to go home." he muttered. "I'll see you guys..."

He saw Draco frowning and looking unsure if he should follow Harry or not but Harry didn't care. If he left without him, Draco could always get a ride from one of his friends.

"What the- Harry? Wait!" Alex called from behind him.

Harry ignored the voices shouting his name and walked quickly through the crowd and out the door into the cold night air.

"Harry wait." a different voice said calmly. Draco's voice.

Harry stopped walking but only because he'd reached his car. His hand gripped the car keys and was hovering next to the keyhole, scared about what might come next.

"What were you going to say before they came?"

Harry pursed his lips. That whole scene had just been the affects of Vodka, he was sure of it. The heat of their bodies, the crazy situation... Harry's mind must have misunderstood the signals.

Maybe he _was _insane.

He whirled around to face Draco and stuck his hands in his pockets.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Draco raised his eyebrow and crossed his arms, trying to warm himself from the bitter wind.

"You were going to say something. But you didn't."

Harry shrugged. "Oh that? I was going to say that I thought we should get home. It's pretty late and all."

Draco's eyes flickered and his expression softened.

"Don't give me that shit Harry. You were crying."

"I was just remembering.... the War. And Sirius." he said tersely.

"No you weren't."

"Yes I was."

"And that dance-"

Harry glared at him icily. "-Didn't mean anything."

"Of course." Draco replied offhandedly. "I never said anything about it meaning anything. Why would it?"

"Exactly. Now fuck off."

"Fine. I will." Draco snarled and he started off down the sidewalk before Harry realised what he'd just said. "Wait!", it was his turn to call out after Draco's retreating back.

Draco promptly turned around with an aggravated expression.

"Yes?" he asked.

Harry searched for something to say. "Er- it's freezing out."

A cynical snort came from Draco and he looked disbelievingly at Harry.

"You stopped me to comment on the weather? How thoughtful of you. But as I'm out here already, I'm quite aware of how cold it is."

"You can't walk back to my place." Harry said gruffly. "You'll freeze to death."

"I was assuming that that when you said 'fuck off', you meant for me to get the hell away from you."

Harry groaned in frustration and pointed his finger at the passenger seat of his car.

"Just stop acting like a stuck-up prick and get in."

He watched as Draco, his arms still crossed, stalled before sauntering back down the length of sidewalk and to the car.

Once both were in the car, they drove a few blocks before Draco, looking out the fogged window, said with a small shake of his head.

"If there's one thing that hasn't changed about you, it's the predictableness of your attitude."

Harry's eyes glanced over at Draco, startled.

"What do you mean? I'm not predictable!" he said indignantly. "I've never been."

Draco's lips curved into a smirk. "Not predictable my arse."

"How am I predictable?" he demanded.

"Your reactions to everything are so see-through. The way your right hand twitches when you're nervous. The way you bite your lip when you want to say something but don't. The way you run your fingers through your hair when you're feeling irritated. The way the green in your eyes flare when you're pissed off-"

"Okay okay! I got the point already. Whatever." he said, unnerved at how much Draco had observed of him to know all this. "Let's just both shut up for now alright?"

Harry absently ran his hand through his hair and stared out ahead of him.

"And now you're probably running your hand through your hair." Draco commented, his head still turned away toward the window.

Harry hit the steering wheel with his fist and growled.

"And what happened to the shut up agreement?"

The blonde didn't reply, Harry could just see the amusement on his face from the side.

Harry made a mental note then and there that he would from now on, completely ignore any of Draco's snide remarks and bouts of sarcasm. For his perturbed reactions just seemed to feed Draco's ego even more. He would show Draco that he wasn't the same Harry that he thought he was.

**[silverXserpent]**

Yes, that was a short bit of writing, but as you can see, it wasn't a new chapter. Just the rest of chapter five that I couldn't include last time I updated. Thank you again to all my dear sweet reviewers. I cherish every word you send my way. XoXoXo

To others who haven't reviewed for this chap yet! Please do! Love ya!


	7. The First Mistake

**Title: **The Amourette

**Author: **silverXserpent

**Rating: **R

**A/N** Hey my lovely readers! I'm so sorry that it took me so long to update! For those of you who checked out my LiveJournal, you'll have read my explanation which was this: "I won't be updating for a while because I'm gonna go out and enjoy the last week of my summer holidays...blah blah blah". So I hope you guys that didn't know, will forgive me for the long wait. I hope you all like this chapter, it's the first one in this POV. Now onto the new chapter...

**Review Replies**

**Smoocher of Evil**

Here I am! Updating. Sorta later than usual but it's a very important chapter! Hope you like it:) And thanks for the review!

**sexy-shannon**

Who _doesn't_ hope that they get back together? lol. I promise to make the next coming chapters exciting! thanks for reviewing:)

**Pila1414**

Hello Pila! Wuz up. I love you reviews so much. I cannot tell you how much they make me emotional and happy. I'll definately try to not let you down. It'll be like my life's goal if I overexaggerated a bit. lol. Thanks so much for keepin' up with my story! You kick bootay.

**driven to insanity**

haha! Thanks! T'was a cute review! grins Thanks for the review! Here's the next chap!

**daringtobeme**

Well gosh, thanks! blushes lol. I'm really sooooo incredibly happy to hear that you're enjoying the story so much. Love ya w/ all my heart too. :)

**Soft Willow**

A late update, but an update nonetheless! Lots of hugs to you for reviewing! love ya.

**Angel Lain**

Funny, you must be psychic. lol! Thanks so much for reviewing! You rock. I hope you like this chap. Kinda short but I'll update soon. xoxo

**Moriann**

Thank you so very much:) Yes, Harry is just so confused and so in denial. He needs a revelation or something. lol. I hope you like this chapter. hugs to you.

**Midnightprowler**

Obviously, somewhere in Harry's mind, he's dying to ask Draco about the after-happenings of the war. But he's too un-confident. lol. Thanks so much for the wonderful review. I like these kinds of 'reflective-opinion' reviews! :)

**Babette SDMB Malfoy**

Don't worry! Your baby, Draco will become a larger part in this story. Do you think I would let him stay a pathetic role??? NOOOOO. lol.

Thanks so much for you review!

**LadyAna**

Thanks! I know, it's so sad how Harry is still in denial yet he might still have these feelings for Draco. Why do things never go simply in love? It's just such a crazy world. lol.

**Kyle-Brofloski**

Grins Thanks a lot for reviewing! It's really cheering! hehe

**Robin the bird**

DENIAL. Kill denial!!!!! It's such mucked-up situation, I know, but it will get better, I promise!!!!

**Arwen Applestone**

Thanks so much for giving this story a read! Honors me! And thanks for the review. You don't know how much I appreciate it! I hope you like this new chapter as well.

**Draco Hottie**

Eeeeek! Here I am! Updating! Please don't stop reviewing! Cuz you're cool too. :)

**SilverDragon161**

Don't worry! The explanations will all come soon! I cannot of course, reveal _everything_ because I have plans for them in the end BUT I won't leave all of Draco's past in the shadows as you will soon read. I hope you like this new chapter! Thanks for the reviews, hugs to you.

**bri**

I will never leave this story unfinished:) And thanks for the review! xoxo

**leftoversushi**

You rock so much! I always adore your reviews! Thanks a million times. I hope you like the new chapter. More action will be coming in the next few chaps I promise! smooch right back at ya!

**Tsuyuno**

Thank you! Thank you! Thanks for reviewing! And yes, the plot will progress the next few chapters! Don't worry:)

**dracopotterkisser**

I know, Harry and Draco NEED action! Right? Yeah. I agree. There will definately be more of that soon. I promise! I hope you like this new chapter! Lots of hugs to you for keeping up with my story!

**sleepybunny**

Thank you for the review! I really really love you for reading the story! :) So here's the update, enjoy

**Lady Lirimaer**

Yes, they will talk (hopefully) soon. I can't reveal anything but they DO need to get it together don't they. lol. Thanks so much for reviewing!

**Kylia Nahimana**

I love you so damn much! Your reviews are soooo awesome! And long and just perfect. grins. This is a much shorter chapter but I really hope it does't ruin the story. bites nails nervously. Hugs to you. xoxo And can't wait to read the update of YOUR story too:) hehe

**cariluv**

Wonderful to hear that darling! Thanks a ton for reviewing. Makes me so happy:) Hope you like the new chapter!

**Chapter Six **The First Mistake

A pair of silver eyes flickered in the thin beam of moonlight drifting in through the gap in the curtains. They were staring, unblinking and motionless, at a spot a few paces away. Not a sound disturbed this scene except for the soft and steady breathing of the man asleep on the sofa. He was curled up under a thick white duvet with just his head poking out from the edge of it, his unruly raven hair sprawled all over the armrest.

The man on the sofa was clearly in a deep slumber, not to be disturbed by anything and completely unaware of the figure watching him from the shadows of the night.

The silver orbs were fixed upon the raven haired man's face with such an intensity that any man awake would have cowered beneath it's gaze. Endless minutes passed this way, with only occasional movement from the sleeping man. The other, standing in the doorway of the bedroom, remained still. Completely still, lest he should awaken his victim.

Draco could not sleep. In fact, he had not been able to find peaceful rest for the past couple of nights. There was too much going on inside his head that demanded his unwilling conscience's attention. He would toss and turn in the bed, feeling irritated and fidgety, until giving up and simply laying there as he let random thoughts sweep through his mind in a jumble.

Tonight however, he didn't even attempt to fall asleep. He couldn't. Not after what had happened hours before.

As he continued to gaze at the man in front of him, a thousand emotions stabbed at his insides, like sharp knives. He was bleeding. He felt pain, and hurt, and sadness all at the same time. Harry's face looked so innocent and gentle now. Everything about it was so familiar, yet so different. Some things were completely unrecognizable in a way.

The last time he'd seen Harry, they had both been adolecent boys. Boys who knew nothing of the tribulations in life that would approach with the coming years, and who cared not about the consequences in their mistakes that they made. He was now looking at a grown man, who's face showed that he knew much more than he once did years and years ago. One that had been through many experiences.

The thing was, Draco had no idea what had happened in Harry's life all those years that they had lost touch and faded from each other's lives. He had no clue what Harry had been doing since the War. For all he knew, Harry could have become the next Minister of Magic.

Eight long years, Draco hid from the prying eyes of the world. They had been lonely years spent in isolation and complete seperation from absolutely everything. He met with no one, talked with no one. It was just a world with himself and nobody else.

So many people assumed that he'd gone over to the Dark Side and joined the remainder of Voldemort's faithful servants, who would, in the end, try to re-conquer the world with Darkness once more. To take revenge upon the death of their beloved master. Draco had known even before the War had struck, that Harry would be in grave danger with or without the Dark Lord alive. If Voldemort was destroyed, then his followers would surely try to kill The-Boy-Who-Lived with their own hands.

He felt like a coward for hiding, and he hated himself for being so helpless and weak, for he could do nothing to protect Harry except to disappear utterly from his life. He could not fight for Harry. He wanted to, yes, but Dumbledore of course would not let him even if he tried to. It wasn't safe.

Dumbledore had served as Draco's secret keeper after the War. It had been his idea. He'd said that it was the only way he could protect Draco, hence protecting Harry at the same time. Draco still felt terrible about it all. He couldn't help but think that it was his fault that Harry was in danger in the first place. Draco was too close to both Harry and the Dark Side, and there was too much of a possibility that he would be captured and used as bait to lure Harry out into the open if anyone found out about them being lovers.

_Lovers._ It seemed like such a fantasy now. It felt so long ago that he wasn't even sure that the past had really been for real and had not just been a dream of his that he'd thought up in his own head. In a way, it seemed almost impossible that it had ever been true.

Yet, the look on Harry's face every time their eyes locked, even for the slightest of moments, showed a shadow of regret and pain that Draco knew he himself had inflicted on Harry. He was the one that broke Harry's fragile heart to into a thousand shards. He was the one that destroyed what could have been so much more.

The morning when Dumbledore had stood beside him while he wrote the short letter to Harry, he must have cried more than he'd ever cried in his entire life. It had to be rewritten five times because the words would be smeared with his tears and the hand that held the quill would be shaking uncontrollably. The expression on Dumbledore's face had been sad and serious behind the half moon spectacles. And even though until then, he hadn't cared a rat's arse about the old headmaster, he couldn't help but feel relieved to have someone who understood, beside him.

How Dumbledore found out about the relationship between Draco and Harry was a mystery, but the headmaster seemed to know a good many things that no one knew of. Perhaps he also knew of the many nights where the two were mindlessly snogging in empty classrooms and hidden broom closets. Draco's mind drifted to Harry and he thought with a small smile that Harry probably would have been mortified if he knew that someone was aware of their past intimacy other than Weasley and Hermione.

How he wanted to tell Harry about everything. Every single bloody thing that had happened and all the reasons as to why he'd done what he'd done. He wanted to confess so that Harry would forgive him and love him once more. He wanted Harry back in his life. In fact, he'd dreamed of Harry and wept for him every night for months after the day that he'd sent Harry that awful letter. That letter had very near destroyed his life, but it had been the only way to insure Harry's safety from the Death Eaters.

And now.... there he was. The man that drove his mind insane. In front of him and so unguarded. Didn't Harry suspect him too? Didn't Harry think he was guilty and that all he wanted was to hand Harry over to the Dark Side? Then why wasn't he more protective of himself? Why didn't he just kill Draco the first night when he'd appeared at Harry's door unconscious?

_Why did I even come here?_ Draco wondered with a sad smirk. _Because Dumbledore sent me here? Because this was the only place that I could come to escape my father?_

He couldn't be sure of anything now. The only thing that was certain in his aching heart was that he wanted to be beside Harry for as long as he could, but by Harry's attitude towards him, it was more than obvious that Harry didn't feel the same about him. Who could blame him? Draco was simply a bad memory. Something that needed to be thrown away and out of Harry's mind so that he could pick up the pieces and get on with his life. And it seemed that now, Harry had accomplished just that. He had a new life, he had new friends... and... Draco winced at the image of Harry dancing so erotically with another man...

_And he has Alex..._

Draco shook his head and kicked himself inwardly. No, he wasn't going to be jealous. Harry deserved someone like Alex who wouldn't end up breaking his heart in the end. He deserved someone who would treat him right. Draco didn't deserve Harry. He never would.

Draco's gaze faltered for the first time as he watched Harry's serene face through the dimness.

_It wouldn't hurt if I went closer to him again... just this once..._

If only time had stopped during those few mintues when he'd been able to hold Harry's warm body against his own. If only Harry didn't loathe him so much... enough to cry with hatred while dancing together... If only...

He took a step towards the sofa very slowly, trying not to make the floorboards creak beneath his feet. He took another step.

His heart was beating much faster than usual as he neared Harry inch by inch. He knew that he was entering a forbidden zone, but he couldn't possibly stop himself.

Soon, he was close enough that his spine was beginning to feel shivers running down it and his hands were weak with anticipation.

He knelt down beside the sofa soundlessly and held his breath as his eyes became level with Harry's closed ones. It was such a beautiful sight. He longed to touch the raven haired man's smooth and tanned skin, and feel the disheveled locks between his trembling fingers.

A tear creeped up behind his eyelid and he blinked furiously to keep it at bay. This wasn't a time to cry over his own mistakes. This wasn't a time to cry, period.

He bit his lip to try to subdue his churning emotions that weighed down his heart and to hold back a sob. But the tear escaped just the same and it fell down his cheek before he could wipe it dry. The drop landed on Harry's face and he inhaled sharply in fear that Harry would feel it and awake because of it. His eyes widened when Harry's lips curved downward into a frown and parted ever so slightly as if he was upset about something. His eyes though, remained closed.

Harry twitched beneath the duvet and his head rolled over onto it's side so that he was now, completely face to face with Draco.

Draco's mouth felt dry and he clenched his hand into fists, watching Harry's every move nervously.

"...Draco..."

Draco's eyes snapped open even wide and he stared at Harry, startled. Did he just hear what he thought he heard? Did Harry just say his name?

Harry moaned and he gritted his teeth.

"......Draco." he said again softly.

"H-Harry?" Draco whispered tentatively, thinking that Harry was indeed awake now. But Harry didn't reply after that.

Draco noticed that Harry's hand had made it's way above the covers and was now gripping the sheets rather tightly. So tight that his knuckles were turning white.

Pleading silently that Harry would not open his eyes, he reached out gently and touched Harry's exposed hand with his own, and stroked it with his thumb in what he hoped was a relaxing motion. Immediately, Harry' expression calmed and his hand loosened it's grip around the duvet and eventually found their way around Draco's hand.

Draco's gaze was fixed on Harry's face with rapture. He felt almost dizzy with desire at the warmness of Harry's hand in his own.

_I can't be doing this._ Worry plagued him at the thought of Harry waking up and discovering Draco hovering over him with their hands clasped together and their faces only inches away. Harry would surely throw him out if that ever happened.

But he couldn't bring himself to let go of the soft hand. How could he when he was feeling so aroused by the mere presence of him? He felt like snuggling up close against Harry and burying his nose into the crook of Harry's long and sun kissed neck. He wanted to feel Harry's arms wrapped protectively around his own body and he wanted to sleep, knowing that he was safe and happy... But that would never ever happen again...

He would never be able to live perfectly happy, because somewhere inside him, he'd always feel guilt and longing for what would never be his. It was his loss...

Draco's throat clenched painfully and he closed his eyes to try and steady his racing heart. He needed to cool off and calm down. He needed to...

The next second, he lost complete control over himself. He wasn't even thinking. Wasn't even aware of what he was doing. All that was in his mind was that he wanted Harry and nothing more.

He let out a soft whimper as he touched his lips gently to the full and rosy ones below him. Another tear streamed down his face and onto Harry's perfectly masculin chin. It glittered and disappeared.

Although he didn't expect any reply from Harry, he felt as if he was finally getting what he'd dreamed of all his adult life. Harry's lips tasted so sweet and soft, just like cotton candy. He couldn't stop crying.

"Harry..." he murmered sadly, slowly opening his eyes and parting their lips with an almost aching reluctance. And then, as if the realization of what he'd just done suddenly dawned on him, he let go of Harry's hand and sprang back in horror. "Oh god... oh god..."

He'd just taken advantage of Harry in the worst way possible. He'd selfishly fulfilled his own desires by using the fact that Harry was asleep and done the absolute wrong... It was all wrong...

His insides, frozen cold, he stumbled backwards through the living room and into the bedroom where he shut the door as quietly as he could and collapsed to the floor.

He leaned his back against the bedpost and buried his face in his hands.

"Shit, I did not just do that... Oh fuck..." he cursed silently. "I'm so sorry Harry... God, I'm so fucking sorry..."

At that moment, there was a creaking noise coming from across the room and he hit his head on the post in surprise.

Wincing in pain, he looked up and saw that the door was standing open and Harry, in the doorway with his heavy eyelids drooping over his gleaming green eyes and his hair sticking out in an irrisistably sexy manner that made Draco gulp nervously.

_Crap._ Was all Draco could think of saying in his mind.

"Dra...Malfoy?" Harry mumbled sleepily scratching his stomach and yawning. "You're awake?"

Draco didn't reply, he just shifted his gaze to the floor. He couldn't help but cringe at the sound of Harry calling him by his surname...

"I heard a noise and woke up to see the door close and..." Harry paused. "You okay?"

_No, I'm not!_ Draco almost cried out. _I just kissed you Harry! While you were asleep! _

Harry shuffled his feet and bit his lip, as if trying to decide what to say.

"Listen-" Harry said, hesitating again and looking uneasy. "You.... you wanna talk...?"

"About what?" Draco asked quietly.

"About... about- last night."

"What?"

"I said... do you want to talk about last night."

Draco forced himself to meet Harry's timid gaze and stared confusedly.

"But..."

Harry ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.

"M-Malfoy... last night was... honestly, I wasn't myself. I don't know what made me act the way I was and I just wanted to apologize."

"Why would you apologize?" Draco tried to read the expression on Harry's face but he could only see Harry's tired looking eyes through the darkness.

"I was just... emotionally stressed out about a lot of things- you know, work and everyday life I guess... and then it just exploded..."

A feeling of relief spread through Draco's mind at Harry's words. So Harry hadn't been crying because he hated Draco...?

Draco offered a small smile and nodded understandingly.

"And uh..."

There was a short silence as Harry folded his arms over his chest and took a step toward Draco; Draco blinked and hastily stood up, thinking that Harry was upset about something. It certainly looked that way.

Their eyes met again and this time, they stayed locked for a long while. Harry's eyes seemed almost sad and pleading, as if hoping that Draco would answer an unasked question .

Draco took an unsteady step back and raised a single eyebrow in a weak attempt to look questioning without the use of words. He watched as Harry licked his lips; the same lips that Draco had touched only a few minutes before...

He tore his eyes away from Harry's lips and cleared his throat.

"Yes?" he managed croakily.

"I..." Harry took another step forward and then halted. With a shake of his head, he rubbed a hand over his eyes. "Forget it. Never mind."

Draco frowned. "Why don't you just tell me?"

"Because it's... it's nothing. Just forget it. Good night." Harry abruptly turned around and walked quickly out the bedroom door and shut it with a sharp click. Draco faced the door with dissapointment seeping through his veins. Not to mention slight irritation. Why did Harry keep doing that? One second, he'd be on the verge of saying something that was obviously very important, and the next, he'd clamp his mouth shut and change his mind. It had been the exact same scenario last night too. What was it that Harry wanted to tell him each time? Was it the same thing tonight as it was at the club?

He slumped backwards onto the soft bed and huffed in frustration.

His mind drifted back to the kiss and he groaned inwardly.

_Don't think about it. Harry doesn't know and he won't find out if you don't tell him. You'll just have to act like it never happened.... damnit WHY did I have to do that?_

He rolled over and buried his face into the fluffy comforter covering his (or rather, Harry's) bed. _ I should be the one sleeping on the couch. No, I shouldn't even be here. Fuck Dumbledore, fuck my life, fuck everthing. _

**A/N**

It's a short chapter but it's a very important one. Not to eventful but eh.

I'm sorry that it took so long too. I promise to update soon but with summer over, I might update less frequently. But not too less frequently. I can assure you that I won't leave this story unfinished under any circumstance. Thanks so much for those that take the time to review. Love you.

silverXserpent


	8. Thoughts of Lust

**_The Amourette  
  
_Rating: **R  
  
**Author:** silverXserpent  
  
**A/N **I'm terribly sorry this chapter took so long to get out here. Believe me, I've really busy with lot so stuff lately and I didn't have the time to do any writing, period. I'll try to update more frequently though, because I know what if feels like to have to wait longer than necessary for a chapter, so please don't spite me. I can't tell you how much appreciate all the reviews and hope they keep coming! They're beyond inspiration to me and I'd die without them.  
  
Also, there will be smut and sex coming up very very soon I promise! After all, this is a R rated slash fiction. Patience, my dear friends.  
  
XXX, silverXserpent**

* * *

Chapter Seven **Thoughts of Lust  
  
Surprisingly, even though Harry had been almost certain that he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep after his completely pointless talk with Draco during the night, when he opened his eyes the the next morning, he realized that he in fact, had eventually dozed off into a dreamless sleep.  
  
He imagined though, that it had probably been many many minutes before he'd accomplished to become unconscious, for no matter how many times he went over the situation, the wrongness of the whole thing wouldn't subside and he couldn't help but accuse himself of being a brainless fool and an irrational clod.  
  
If he could create a world where everything was right and reasonable, a world where he was in total control, then there was no doubt that he wouldn't put up with any of this riffraff and that Draco would most definitely be in Azkaban or somewhere else that wasn't Harry's apartment. Anywhere but here.  
  
Everything was just so messed up.  
  
_If everyone in the wizarding world saw The-Boy-Who-Lived now, they'd probably laugh their arses off, _Harry thought dejectedly. _Heck, If **I** could see myself now, I'd be laughing my arse off too._  
  
_God, I'm pathetic.  
  
_How many mornings had it been since Draco had appeared on his doorstep? It felt like eternity, yet he knew in his mind that it had only been a couple of days. Only a couple of days and he needed a vacation already. A holiday. Time to recompose himself and get away from all the crap.  
  
_But why should I blame myself for all this?_ Harry thought irritably. His bewilderment slowly turned into anger and he defiance. _I have a right to be furious with Draco don't I? Damn right I do! Why the hell should I be all gentle with him when honestly, I could just force the truth out of him? Why won't he just fucking spill it already?  
  
_Another voice in his head laughed spitefully.  
  
_What kind of spy would reveal their secrets to their enemies? Would you? It's his job.'  
  
But this isn't about bloody jobs!_ Harry cried out silently in frustration. _What about eight years ago? What about us? Where did that all go?  
  
Don't you see Harry? He's weakening you. He's your weak spot. And he knows it.'  
  
He's NOT my weak spot!  
  
Prove it. Try and spend five minutes without thinking ONCE about him.'  
  
Like that's a challenge. _Harry snorted to himself. _I could go forever without thinking about fucking Malfoy.  
  
_Suddenly, Harry paused, and his eyes grew wide with realization.  
  
_Am I talking to myself???? _He shook his head and groaned. _Shit. This is really bad.  
  
_He hit his forehead brutally a few times with his fist before blinking out the dizziness and heaving himself off of the disheveled couch.  
  
_I need a shower._  
  
Trying to throw off the uncomfortable feeling, he slowly dragged his feet toward the bathroom door and shut it quietly behind him.  
  
Unwillingly, he moved across the cold tiled floor to the marble sink and lifted his gaze to peer into the mirror at his reflection.  
  
He grimaced at his face, which stared back at him tiredly. There were faint bags beneath his eyes and the greenness around the cole black pupils seemed dimmer and less alive. They didn't look like his beloved mother's eyes anymore. They were weak and helpless looking. Harry then had the strong urge to slap the face in the mirror.  
  
Fuck you. he cursed softly, running a hand over his unblemished forehead. You coward. You gutless moron.  
  
Insulting himself only made him more depressed and so with a sigh, he turned away and walked over to the tub.  
  
He fiddled with the hot and cold water knobs until he felt satisfied with the temperature and then yanked on the tab to turn on the shower.  
  
Steaming water came cascading from the shower head and he slid the glass door shut to stop the bathroom floor from getting drenched.  
  
He quickly stripped off his clothing and stepped into the shower, where a gratified sigh escaped his lips. He leaned his face into the water and rubbed his hands over his eyes to freshen his mind up. It felt comforting, especially after all that happened in the last twenty-four hours.  
  
_See? It's been five minutes since the last time I thought of Malfoy._ Harry told himself with a smile. _He means nothing to me.  
  
Wait, but just now- that doesn't count as a thought.  
  
_Harry decided to ignore his mind and continue on with his shower as if he'd had nothing going on his head at all.  
  
He snatched the bottle of body wash (perhaps a little violently), and squirted a liberal amount of it onto his palm and began to lather it onto his arms and chest mechanically.  
  
_Just calm down._ He said to himself exhaling loudly. _You're not going to get anywhere by torturing yourself for everything Draco-related.  
  
_The sweet aroma of the vanilla scented soap seemed to help him regain his senses after that.  
  
_Why don't you just try to think of common, trivial things for a change? Like... maybe trying out a different smelling body wash. Or another brand of shampoo and conditioner? Or calling up Hermione to see where she orders her Sleakeasy's Hair Potion.  
  
Alex. I could think about him too.  
  
_Harry tried to envision Alex's smiling and sincere face in his mind's eye. He tried to feel the touch of his soft lips on his own and the way it felt when Alex's hand tousled his hair in adoration. But it was in vain.  
  
_I can't do this in the shower while I'm naked._ _That's just.... I mean... it's Alex. And he's just a friend.  
  
_When was the last time that Harry had let himself think sexually of someone? When was the last time that Harry had jacked off to the thought of someone? When was the last time that he'd had sex, for that matter?  
  
It seemed so long ago that he couldn't even quite remember. He knew for a fact that he and Alex had never done anything too intimate before. Yes, they'd come close a few times under the influence of heavy alcohol and whatnot, but never sex. And it was all thanks to Alex. How Alex managed to collect enough sense each time they got into the danger zones, to put up his hand and question Harry was beyond him.  
  
Before he met Alex, he could recall that just once, he'd slept with another guy he met at a club. It'd been a one night thing- something that before then, Harry wasn't all together too fond of- and the next morning when Harry had awoken in a hotel room, the mystery guy was gone, and _he_ was left with a pounding hangover. Not a note, not a phone number, and no other clues as to who he'd fucked.  
  
Why had he done it? Well, the answer was simple. It had been right after Draco had broke up with him. He was furious. He was heartbroken. And he needed to take out his stress on something or someone. So obviously, he'd stormed into one of the rowdiest gay clubs in Guildford and taken the first guy that had come up to him that night.  
  
Since then, he'd given up having sex as a stress-reliever and instead focused his mind on all work and little play. Harry was surprised at how much easier it was this way. He could feel as if he was actually accomplishing something, while at the same time, it left him little room to think about his broken heart and other emotional things that would normally have driven him up the wall.  
  
_So I'm stronger now. Hell yes, I'm stronger. Very strong-_  
  
A trickle of conditioner ran into his eye and he yelped in pain. He cursed and hurriedly washed out his eye gingerly.  
  
So what if Draco was just as, if not even more, attractive than before? So what if his eyes were breathtakingly stunning? So fucking what if the aura he radiated screamed sex?  
  
NO. Harry wouldn't give in. The ex-Slytherin _wouldn't_ become his weak spot and he _wouldn't_ let the jerk use his lust-appeal to lure Harry into a trap. That was just out of the question. If he could resist sex and Alex these past eight years, he could surely, without a doubt, withstand a simple thing as lust. And plus, he wasn't even lusting over Draco Malfoy in the first place, so there was absolutely no danger whatsoever.  
  
_Well Malfoy, too bad for you hm?_ Harry smirked contemptuously. _You thought by coming here, you were going to win. But you thought wrong.  
  
_Grinning almost maniacally, he practically kicked the water knobs off and got out of the shower.  
  
He dried his hair roughly and was about to proceed to drying off his body when the bathroom door creaked wide open and Harry let out a graceless shout and fumbled to hide his lower half.  
  
Fuck- have you ever heard of knocking??? Harry spluttered loudly, his cheeks glowing scarlet. He lifted his head angrily with a glare fixed on his face but found himself gaping in surprise at the sight before him.  
  
Draco- a very sleepy looking, I've-just-had-a-snog-except-not-really Draco, was standing in the doorway with his usually prim flaxen hair disheveled and all articles of clothing absent except for a pair of much-too-small black silk boxers hugging his slim hips.  
  
He had a towel hanging off one thin arm and his other hand buried into his hair as if he'd been absently combing it through but halted when seeing Harry.  
  
His grip on his own towel weakened and it would have slipped out of his fingers had Draco's eyes not flickered downwards on Harry's body and made him suddenly aware of how much naked skin he was showing.  
  
Blushing furiously, he held one end of the towel in front of his groin while attempting to reach around his body with the other end to wrap it securely in place.  
  
Sorry I guess- Draco smiled slightly, his eyes glinting, and not sounding apologetic at all. Didn't know you were in here.  
  
Well there's a damn good reason the door was closed! said Harry angrily, recovering his senses. He closed his eyes to keep them from seeing any of Draco. Much too dangerous.  
  
Am I an offending sight to you perhaps? Draco inquired. Harry could feel the mercury eyes boring into him curiously.  
  
Harry's eyes snapped open.  
  
he said coldly.  
  
Draco raised an eyebrow in what looked like an amused manner.  
  
Harry narrowed his eyes.  
  
He didn't realize his gaze was slowly drifting away from Draco's eyes to his rosy lips which were curved upward in the most enticing air.  
  
A pink and moist tongue flicked out from between these pink lips and licked them ever-so-casually. It was then that Harry felt something terribly wrong taking place in his lower regions. He felt hot and stuffy. And hard.  
  
_SHIT._ _Shit. Shit. Shit. S-H-I-T._  
  
He placed his hand on the cool countertop to steady himself and tried to force himself to look away, but instead, he found himself taking in the elegant neck, and the narrow shoulders, and the impossibly smooth and taut chest, and the perfect arms, and the delicious dip above the abdomen, and the low low low waistline of the boxers...  
  
He heard Draco distinctly cough and Harry almost fell over in shock.  
  
_I did not just let myself check him out.  
  
_So... are you done? Or should I wait out there for a bit longer?  
  
  
  
Shall. I. leave. or. are. you. done? he repeated slowly.  
  
Harry's range of vocabulary seemed to shrink considerably along with his ability to take in the meaning of coherent sentences.   
  
His breath hitched in his throat when Draco took a step closer to him.  
  
_Don't you DARE come any closer!_ Harry pleaded silently.  
  
He continued to stared dazedly at Malfoy as his pale body came another step nearer. And then another.  
  
Before he was able to comprehend what was happening, he realized a moment too late that now, a mere foot was what stood between him, and his assailant.  
  
His heart was hammering in his chest. And cold sweat mingled with the water still dripping from his body.  
  
What was wrong with him? Where was that confidence he'd had just minutes before? His inner conscience seemed to have morphed into a block of frozen ice over the span of one a few seconds.  
  
Attempting to clear his throat in a way that he could cover up his embarrassment, he bent down to retrieve his discarded clothing from the floor. When he straightened back up, he found it a tad bit easier to breath- but only until he discovered himself nose to nose with Draco.  
  
Harry was so close that he could see the surprised gleam in Draco's eyes. He could smell the intoxicating scent radiating off the blonde's skin. He felt as if he could easily plunge into the depths of Draco's mystifying eyes and drown forever. And for a moment, neither moved or made a sound.  
  
He could almost taste the strong tension between them. It was overwhelming.  
  
Draco's warm and steady breath felt blistering on his cheek. Harry was sure that his own breathing had completely stopped by now. His head was light and whirling and his knees felt weak... too weak to support his body. He would collapse any moment...  
  
I suppose... you need more time? a soft whisper, almost like the sound of a breeze, invaded his stupor-like state.  
  
Harry moisted his parched lips involuntarily.  
  
he mouthed soundlessly. I-I'm good. I think.  
  
There was silence.  
  
Draco breathed.  
  
So.... I'll just.... leave now... but Harry remained immobile.  
  
  
  
he murmured dreamily.  
  
Harry barely noticed the crease forming on Draco's forehead.  
  
Harry? You here?  
  
Somehow, the voice didn't seem to fit in the tableau.  
  
Are you in the bathroom? Harry- ...? What the-  
  
Harry was suddenly torn from his fantasy world and back to reality with a dead drop of his heart.  
  
He looked over Draco shoulder and saw a devastated looking Alex who's hand was still on the doorknob and eyes that were flashing with the deepest hurt ever fathomable.  
  
Harry- what the _fuck_ is going on? What are you guys-  
  
Harry stumbled backwards, horror filling him and he shook his head incoherently.  
  
Alex! Wh- why are you here?  
  
Why am I here? Alex burst out disbelievingly. I fucking called you seven times last night and this morning but you wouldn't answer and so I got worried that you were in trouble! he snorted. But I guess you were fine, weren't you? Stupid of me to think something was wrong!  
  
Alex! No! Wait! It's not what it looks like! Harry cried desperately. Don't jump to conclusions-  
  
Oh, _don't jump to conclusions'_ ??? Alex frowned and shook his head. I'm sorry I bothered you two. I'll be leaving now.  
  
Dammit Alex! Wait! I can explain-  
  
No. Harry- fucking shut up. There's nothing, absolutely NOTHING to explain. I'm honestly happy for you. I'll see you around Harry.  
  
Alex shot him one torn look which ripped Harry's heart into pieces, and strode out of the bathroom with his hands clenched into shaking fists.  
  
Harry didn't waste a second. Without hesitation, he flew after Alex, calling his name pleadingly. He didn't even care that he was wearing only a towel. He needed to tell him that nothing had happened.  
  
  
  
Alex ignored him and picked up his pace, obviously eager to get away from Harry as fast as possible. Soon, Harry was out of the protective walls of his warm flat and was running down the three flights of stairs down to the ground floor where Alex was furiously throwing on his leather coat while digging in his pocket for his car keys.  
  
Alex! Will you just listen to me?  
  
Harry finally caught up with the taller brunette just before he was able to yank open the wooden door that led out into the bright morning, and pulled him to a stop successfully.  
  
Harry- just.... let me go. said Alex, not meeting Harry's eyes.  
  
Harry replied stubbornly. Not until you listen to what I have to say.  
  
What is there to say? You don't owe me an explanation. And it's your own decision who you're with. I'm just being a selfish asshole.  
  
A guilty pang stung Harry's insides painfully.  
  
Alex- there's _nothing_ between me and Dra- I mean, Devin. _Nothing_. We were just getting in our faces back there- you know, arguing.  
  
Alex didn't answer.  
  
Harry sighed. To tell you the truth, yes, we've known each other for a while, but we were the worst of enemies for the longest time. And I guess sometimes, the old animosity rises up inside of us and- we feel like murdering each other. _Well, it wasn't a complete lie._  
  
It doesn't matter. It shouldn't bother me either way anyways. said Alex grimly. I didn't mean to blow up on you... I'm sorry Harry.  
  
What? Why are you apologizing? asked Harry. Don't, because nothing has changed. Me and Devin are friends and nothing more, and that's the truth.  
  
I don't know. muttered Alex. I know I'm an idiot... but you just mean so much to me Harry. You know that right?  
  
Of course. And you mean a lot to me too. Harry reassured warmly. He squeezed Alex's arm and smiled.  
  
Alex sent a mirrored smile and placed his other hand atop Harry's.  
  
Look at me, standing here with a snug coat while you came all the way down here just for me and I'm making you catch your death.  
  
As if in agreement, Harry's teeth began to chatter but Harry shook his head.  
  
I-I'm not c-cold.  
  
Come on. I'll take you back up there. Harry received a nudge and felt himself being pushed back to the staircase where letting out a chuckle, he sprinted back up the steps two at a time. He could hear Alex chasing after him laughing.  
  
Harry could not feel more grateful that Alex was such a forgiving and trusting guy; and because of this, the situation had avoided ending up completely awkward. _Could I ask for more in a friend?_ Harry smiled to himself. _Probably not._  
  
When they were safe back on the third floor and in front of Harry's door, Alex stuffed his hands into his trouser pockets and offered a timid grin.  
  
So I guess I'll see you later. he said.  
  
Harry nodded. Yeah... and... thanks Alex.  
  
There's nothing to thank me for. protested Alex. I was the one that jumped to conclusions, like you said.  
  
Well, from how it probably looked, I don't blame you. Harry said, half jokingly, half seriously. You know... he added affectionately. You're the best Alex.  
  
Alex wrinkled his nose. You sound like a toddler talking to his favorite uncle or something.  
  
Harry said, rolling his eyes.  
  
So could your favorite uncle get a hug from his favorite niece?  
  
Quit it! That sounds wrong.  
  
You have one unclean mind Evans. Alex scoffed in mock disapproval. But then again, that's what's so interesting about you right?  
  
Whatever, just take your damn hug and leave before I turn into a Harry-sicle.  
  
And how would that taste I wonder? queried the brunette innocently. He reached out his arms and wrapped them around a quivering Harry. He buried his nose in Harry's hair and Harry embraced him back, sighing with relief at the warmth of Alex's body. His fingers were already numb.  
  
Bye Harry. whispered Alex huskily, leaned down to brush his lips gently against Harry's, but not pressing close enough for it to become a kiss.  
  
Bye Alex. Harry whispered back. I'll call you.  
  
You'd better. Now get back inside before you really freeze to death.  
  
They let go of each other, Alex rather reluctantly, and with a final wave, Harry shut the door of his flat firmly.  
  
Now the only problem on his hands was pulling himself together; enough to face Draco after what had just happened in the bathroom before Alex had come.  
  
What _had_ happened, for that matter?  
  
Harry was too confused. The only thing he could remember was an uncomfortable erection forming beneath his towel- one that was most _definitely_ not supposed to be there at all.  
  
He wanted to convince himself that he hadn't gotten hard because of Draco, but because a guy (and it could have been anyone) had been inches way from him, both almost completely naked.  
  
_It's natural._ He told himself. _You're gay, you haven't been horny for a while, and there was a good-looking guy in front of you. You wouldn't be human if you hadn't been affected.  
  
_But that was besides the point. How was he supposed to confront Draco after all that? Wouldn't they both feel... weird? He certainly felt weird. But that was just it, weird. And nothing else.  
  
_What should I say?  
  
_Uh yeah- so what's new?  
  
_Riiiiight.  
  
_That was an interesting event... kind of?  
  
_-snort-  
  
_Yeah, so what just happened before, I was suffering from anemia. Turned the water too hot, you know?  
  
_Get a life.  
  
_But when he returned to the bathroom, the door was shut and locked, and he could hear the sound of the shower running vaguely.  
  
_I'll just have to wait._  
  
Harry tried relax himself , and focused on simply the exercise of breathing calmly while retreating to his bedroom for the first time that morning to change into decent clothing.  
  
_I'll show him that I wasn't affected... in that way, that is. Like I've said before, I can't let him think that he's weakened me, because he hasn't. Remember Harry, he's the victim, not you.  
  
_Yes. Draco Malfoy was the victim. And he would stay the victim. Even if it cost Harry his life.  
  
**A/N **Again, please please please review! Love you all.  
  
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